When this man is upset about Christmas, he asks Reddit:
Basically earlier on this year, she (37F) came out as a lesbian to me (37M) and we divorced after being together 11 years.
It really sucked, and even though we've remained sort of friends because we share our dog together who's 10, I do find it hard. Because she's been in my life for so long, she's remained on good terms with my family especially my folks who see her as a daughter in law still.
If we were still together, we'd have spent Christmas together with my parents but as we're not, I was just planning to spend it with them on my own.
I was talking to her a couple of days ago and mentioned that I was looking forward to my mum's Christmas dinner and she said she was too - she assumed she's still coming, especially as her family have effectively disowned her for being gay she doesn't really have anywhere else to go.
My mum told her when we split up she's still welcome there anytime especially Christmas.
I told her I don't want her to come, it's a bit too weird to me to spend Christmas with her after all that's gone down and would rather just have it as family only.
She got really upset about it and said she didn't have anywhere else to go, and otherwise it would just her and the dog (we agreed he'd be with her this Christmas and alternate it). I said no still and she starred crying and I hung up.
Obviously I don't want to upset anyone so think I could be an asshole for that? I mean she does have a girlfriend, I don't see why they can't spend time together?
I told my mum today and she was really angry. She said that I didn't have the right to dis-invite anyone and shouldn't be so mean at Christmas. I told her she's my ex, if I don't want to see anyone then I shouldn't have to.
She said she is in 2 minds whether to just invite her anyway and if I don't like it then I can not come myself.
I don't know Reddit. I don't think I'm an ah for not wanting to see her, but maybe I could have handled it better? AITA?
NTA. Ex wife doesn't get to share your family still.
Make it very clear to your parents. They are welcome to invite her, but if you show up and she's there you're leaving and not doing anything with them over the holidays.
Yes, and one day OP will move on. He has to heal, and having her around at his holidays extends that process. What is going to happen when OP is serious with a new girl and they all spend holidays together?
It sucks for his ex, but no matter the reason for the divorce, they are still divorced. I know the whole spiel people want to go through and set up that cute “But we are still friends” narrative, but come on, really yall? Of course OP doesn’t want his ex wife at his Christmas dinner. NTA.