Aunt feeds nephew 'better' food, sister says, 'don't parent my kid.' AITA?
When this aunt is frustrated with her sister's parenting, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for giving my nephew food even after she claims he won’t eat it?'
My (27F) nephew (4) and sister (21) have started staying with me recently. She’s been trying to get a job and has picked up a few odd jobs (cleaning, babysitting) while she is gone I usually Baby sit my nephew. He just kind of hangs out with me or plays with his toys. I feed him dinner if she’s been gone for awhile.
When she is home all she feeds him is chips, cookies, candy, cereal, or Mac and cheese. That’s it. She claims the cereal has all the vitamins and minerals he needs since she puts milk in it as well. Nephew is average in height and weight so he’s not starving but it’s not the healthiest lifestyle for him. She claims he won’t eat anything else.
While she’s been gone in the evenings I’ve been introducing new foods to him. He loves vegetables such as raw carrots, peas, green beans. He also really likes fruit. I’ve been making him waffles, eggs, bacon, oatmeal and cream of wheat as well and he eats everything. He doesn’t seem picky at all.
She came home last night and he was finishing up a grilled cheese with tomato soup and she flipped out on me. Told me that I shouldn’t be feeding him things that he doesn’t like and that I was force feeding him by not giving him a choice of what he wanted to be fed.
I told her she was absolutely ridiculous and that he enjoyed new foods and that she was just to lazy to ever cook for him and used ready made meals. She blew up on me for calling her a “bad mom” she’s constructed that I’ve been force feeding her son while she’s gone and told all her friends who have ganged up on me saying I was out of line and that I overstepped the boundary and I wasn’t his mother. AITA here?
Let's find out.
badkitty657 writes:
NTA. I'm sorry, if you can afford chips, candy and cereal, you can afford food with actual nutritional value. She's either lazy or no one ever taught her to prepare food, or about the care and feeding of young children. I'm not judging her, someone I love dearly used to water down baby formula and feed her kids junk.
She was a teen when she had her first kid, her mother did not approve of her husband, so she was uninvolved. She just didn't know, she was little more than a child herself. Fortunately her in-laws adored her and stepped up to help them when they found out.
She had to be told you just can't do that, babies need full strength formula, if you run low reach out, don't water it down. She had to be taught how to cook basic nutritious meals and how to shop and budget.
comment7215 writes:
NTA. She is teaching him horrible eating habits. You are giving him the healthy meals he needs. You might want to talk to her about this when you two are getting along. Your nephew's pediatrician can also help her with nutrition and proper food. It also might be she can't afford the fresh food and so goes for the boxed, processed food.
yava88 writes:
NAH. I really feel for your sister. She’s at that age that literally everyone judges her and likely cuts her down on her parenting. There is a thing where kids will behave different for someone other than their parent. “The uncle effect” She may be trying to get him to eat other foods but he refuses….so for him to do so with you probably hurts and makes her feel worthless.
The fact she is eating a single cheeseburger or fries all day tells me she is in a drastic financial situation and the candy is likely free Halloween candy she is trying to use to offset cost of groceries. Give her support. Help her figure out food stamps, food banks and WIC if that is available where you live.