Woman is called 'bad mom' for not helping daughter apply to higher ed program.
When this mom is concerned for her daughter, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for not appealing to the school to get my daughter in a higher-education program?'
So my daughter (14) is in 8th grade and the whole school is by the public highschool. There is a program that allows 8th grades to go experience the basics of chemistry, biology, med, and engineering classes.
The kids would go over to the highschool in the morning for a class and miss there elective of the day, so like art class or gym class. Its a pretty good program but it is only for the top students in middle school, basically the best of the best.
They also do it for students who are great at literature or arts, but my daughter falls into the science one. My oldest kids before her both did it but my middle child didn't get in.
So my daughter gets in trouble a lot, sometimes it for small things for not having her stuff for class but other times its for more important things. Just this year she picked the lock to a art classroom to get some coloring tools.
I am talking to the principal at least once or twice a year. Not the mention how many times she has come home with a pink slip (its like a warning). She's the class clown and really bright. No punishment that I have tried made it stop.
So today we got the letters who will be getting into the program, it will start next week until she graduates. If you don't get in the letter always tells you why, usually its your grades.
Well we opened it today and it basically said she had the grades to do it but due to her discipline record they will not except her into the program. She was very upset and asked me to try to appeal it.
There is a process for the school but I told her no. That this is the consequence of her actions and that I have warned her they will catch up. She called me an ass, and my husband is also not happy about what I said.
She has been evaluated (all the kids were), we also thought she was bored with class so she got moved up and she flunked out.
She has been to therapy, but we stopped after she refused to talk to anyone. We tried for 9 months, she would sit in silence. AITA?
Let's find out.
coconutkitten writes:
NTA. Why would they let in a child who has proven to be a distraction and hindrance to the learning of others?Maybe this will make her learn that actions have consequences.
schermdd writes:
NTA. I’m not sure how I managed to get two responsible children to adulthood without bad grades or detention or drugs or troublemaking and turned them into lovely married humans that have good jobs and own their own homes and have nothing to post about me here; because in Reddit land I have been pissing off the perfect parents today.
So I shall continue. This child is not mature enough for this academic program. It’s quite clear.
All these people dogging on the mom that she is affecting her education….no she isn’t. This is an advanced placement program. My children participated in my community as well.
The poor behavior, bad attitude and general lack of regard for boundaries that this child has shows her immaturity and she should not be rewarded with an advanced placement program because while grades may be acceptable…..she will not adapt well.
It’s hard it’s challenging it’s fast paced and there are rules. Clearly she has no interest in playing by rules.
If the father is so concerned and a parent needs to be there. Let the troublemaker and the dad appeal it and get off moms back.
PS if my 14 year old called me an ass she would have bigger things to worry about than if I was going to appeal for her to get special privileges even though she doesnt deserve them. Much bigger things.