Bride-to-be removes flower girl from her wedding, entire family says, 'ok bridezilla.'
When this bride to be is having anxiety, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for removing the flower girl from my wedding?'
First post and in need of advice. My fiancé and I have our wedding booked for next summer. Originally, we thought we were going to get married locally, but we didn't like any of the venues near us so we ventured out of state where we found our dream wedding venue.
Here's where things get tricky. My fiancé has an adorable three year old niece. When we thought we were getting married locally, we asked his brother and wife for her to be the flower girl.
She'd come to the ceremony, and then her grandparents would take her home. Since our venue is out of state, it was now assumed that she would be staying for the whole portion of the wedding (hotel on Friday night, wedding on Saturday starting at 6pm).
I always wanted a child free wedding but agreed because it was important to my fiancé. Now as we are getting closer to the date, I've been having nightmares and all these intrusive thoughts of what could go wrong.
At our engagement party, she had a tantrum because she wasn't in pictures and kept running up to the sweetheart table during speeches. My fiancé has a hard time turning her away, which I understand, but I feel like these are really intimate moments for us that were impeded upon.
I was pretty frustrated and upset, but let it go. But I am getting very anxious that this is what will happen on the day of our wedding. There's other logistical difficulties for me as well.
The morning of the wedding where would she go? Her mother and her grandma are both getting their makeup and hair done and truthfully, I don't want her to be in the bridal suite while I'm getting ready. I feel like I sound like a terrible person, but I really do love his niece and consider myself to be her aunt already.
I just don't think the black tie wedding is an appropriate place for children and have all of this anxiety over what could go wrong. One of my common nightmares is her running onto the dance floor during our first dance :(
We talked with his brother and his brother's wife today and told them our anxieties and they understood but were very upset because 'she is our niece'.
My fiancé's mother said that what we are doing is wrong and is nervous that everything is going to be 'my way' and my fiancé will never have a say (definitely not how me and my fiancé's household works lol). I'm not sure whether to stand my ground or reach a compromise.
Maybe his wife's parents could bring her to the ceremony and then take her home (the venue is about 2 hours away from where we all live. So AITA?
Let's find out.
firesong555 writes:
NAH, it‘s your choice, but maybe reconsider the way you‘re phrasing it. Having nightmares because a kid might run onto the dancefloor sounds like something to tell your therapist, not said kids parents.
dependentonwhales9 writes:
Piggybacking this one to say NAH, but you will be amazed how unimportant this issue, and all of the other issues you are stressing about regarding your wedding will seem a year from now.
None of this matters, you will be married, the wedding will be great, and nothing your niece does or doesn’t do will matter or be remembered in a few months. Let it go and enjoy the day. I promise you that you will look back at this in the future and wonder why you thought this was important.
motorbusiness78 writes:
NTA.Just tell them you would love her as your flower gitl, but she can not be in the bridal suite during the day and not at the reception. Tell them you understand if the girl can not come at all wih those restricitons. Then refuse to further discuss it.