Brother accuses sister of 'stealing' his eulogy for their grandpa, mom says, 'relax.'
When this man is furious with his sister, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for calling my sister sick and disgusting for taking a eulogy I wrote for our grandpa as her own?'
My (22M) grandfather passed away, and the whole family has been mourning.
My father and his brothers had become despondent and because of this my grandmother asked me to speak on their behalf as the eldest grandson (I have an older sister whos 24, but the older generations are very conservative so they would rather have a guy give the speech).
Initially I was hesitant but she asked me in front of a lot of family members so I had no other choice but to say yes.
I put everything on hold to write a good speech to honour my grandpa. I cried alot and when I finally finished I was so proud of myself. I was still shaking off and mentally preparing myself to stand in front of a whole bunch of family and close friends because I suck at public speaking.
I put it in a google doc shared with the members of our family, along with some videos and pictures of him.
My mom came to me after it all and she didnt have to outright say it, but I could tell she didnt want to have me stuttering the entire speech, so she apparently talked with my grandma, and it was decided that my sister would give it instead, which I was honestly a bit upset about since i worked so hard on it, but understood and didnt want to make a scene so I left it as is.
When it came time for my sister to speak, she literally took my speech word for word, personal stories I shared with my grandpa changed slightly as if it was her experiencing it.
WTF I was appalled, who does that?? I told my mom after the service and she told me to shut up lol.
After everything was said and done ppl were hugging and crying telling her what a beautifully written speech she gave.
We had a dinner later with some family and they were still talking about what a wonderful speech she gave and it honestly got to me. I called her sick and disgusting for taking my speech and not writing her own.
My mom told me off afterwards, saying how I was making everything about me, being selfish, and that it wasnt her fault because she didnt have time to write one up anyways.
I feel terrible because I do feel like maybe I should have just bit my tongue, but WTF she could have at least changed the stories of me and grandpa. AITA?
Let's find out.
extrabigcomfycouch writes:
Wow, that was BS. She could have started the speech off with saying: “ I’m reading this eulogy on behalf of my brother Tway, to our loving grandfather.” It’s weird that she spoke about it as if it were her own, including the experiences. SMH. NTA.
massiveemergency7 writes:
NTA. The not-horrible thing for her to do would have been to start off and end by attributing the speech to you.
Taking your personal anecdotes and changing them so they’re hers is so horrible. I’d have trouble maintaining a relationship with someone who did that to me.
“I’ll be reading this eulogy written by my brother, who is an exceptional writer but struggles with public speaking.” And“Thank you, (name), for that beautiful, heartfelt speech. I’m glad to have been able to share it.”
If there’s anytime to be gracious and not make it all about yourself, it’s when speaking at a funeral. Hell, even if you stuttered and sniffled through it, I think you should have been allowed to read your own eulogy. It’s a funeral, not debate team.