When this woman calls out her coworker and wonders if she made a mistake, she asks Reddit:
I’m early 20sF and last year started working at a major company. I entered this job through a scheme for disadvantaged young people. Despite this, the interview process was still incredibly tough and I’m proud to have made it this far.
When I’m not with my team I hang out with the other girls I’ve met and befriended through that scheme. The nephew of the CEO started his role at our department a little later and for whatever reason has been joining us girls for lunches etc.
He tries VERY HARD to fit in and acts like he doesn’t come from a place of insane privilege. He will literally pretend to be humble and downplay his family’s wealth just to seem relatable I guess.
The others have been warming up to him but I’m honestly not buying his rather fake personality. The other day I was sitting at the canteen with another coworker and he asked if he could join us. I didn’t want that but my coworker immediately said yes.
Well he was asking me lots of personal questions and about my journey to the company.
I told him that the interview process was hard and mentally draining. He nodded and said that it’s tough getting into the place but that his interviews were “fine”. Even laughing and saying he came late to one because of a hungover.
This made me mad and I said “good for you”. He thanked me and said that things always work out when you just “chill out” and stop taking things so seriously. This is when I said that we both know he’s not nearly as competent as he believes and that he only got the job bc his uncle is literally the CEO.
My friend/coworker gasped and looked at me like I’m crazy. The nephew shrugged and said that I don’t seem to like him. I told him that this wasn’t a personal matter so likes and dislikes are irrelevant.
We didn’t argue but he got a little heated. And asking me what I want him to do. Then he said that I may view him as an over privileged a$#hole but I’m more or less the same (which makes no sense).
So I fully expected him to report me to HR but to my surprise he never did. In fact he started following me on my social media accounts and messaging me at work more frequently. My coworker has relayed this incident to the other girls and the consensus is that I’m a major a$#hole.
They said that not only was I unnecessarily hostile and rude, they’re also mad he started hanging out with them less. (Not sure if this is a coincidence but I’ve also been spending less time with them) AITA for giving my unprompted opinions?
YTA. Whenever you need to voice a negative opinion, ask yourself A) does this need to be said, B) does it need to be said right now, and C) does it need to be said right now by me?
Does this need to be said? No, not unless there's something about the way he's been acting that you're not conveying. It sounds like he's making an effort to be friendly and not to be one of those guy who swaggers in expecting everyone to kiss his ass.
Does it need to be said right now? No. If you were really concerned, a private conversation or a conversation with your or his manager about his behavior would have been appropriate.
Does it need to be said by you? No. It sounds like you're being unreasonably hostile toward this guy. And it's not a coincidence that they're spending less time with you--they think you're an a&*hole, no wonder they don't want to hang out with you.
He was definitely being super obnoxious, and I can understand OP’s frustration. He’d have to be either willfully obtuse or painfully naive to believe his hiring experience would be typical.
That said, the world is full of people who are blind to their own privilege and instead chalk all of their success up to their own choices and actions. Especially the corporate world.
It’s generally a complete waste of energy to push back on their viewpoint. And when they’re in a place of not just privilege but power—or at least influence—over you, it’s absolutely stupid to try to do so. Both OP & said nephew have a lot to learn about the working world. I’d say ESH.
NTA. He gave her the advice to 'chill out' and 'things will work out.' Dude showed up late to an interview hungover. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't fly for OP. OP doesn't seem to be looking for humility.
In fact, she simply didn't want to be around him, which since she clearly doesn't like him is a valid tact.
He was trying to get her to open up and then decided to give her advice on how interview, which is frankly obnoxious and myopic. I wouldn't have unloaded on him, but it's sad how much people side with him considering his attitude. If he's trying not to be an a@#hole, I would recommend he try a lot harder.