When this dad is frustrated with his daughter's behavior, he asks Reddit:
I (32m) have a daugher (14f). She really likes to play video games, particularly Minecraft. I also have played this game a little bit, so I sort of understand how it works.
On one particular occasion, she was playing Minecraft, as she had been for the last 5 hours. She has limits of 4 hours per day during the holidays (which it was) and I was busy working and unable to manage her how I usually would. Her mother is out of the picture. After finishing a work call that ended around lunchtime, I went downstairs and called her to lunch (it was usual time).
We normally have a hot meal for dinner and bread and cheese for lunch so it was normal for me to not prepare lunch and then spend an hour and a half preparing a nice dinner later. She took a few minutes, and then I went to her room to go check on her.
She was completely sucked in to the console, but she had heard and had shouted 'Coming!' I asked her why she hadn't come and she asked to finish this one little part. It was a singleplayer world, so I knew she could pause the game and nothing bad could have happened.
I took away the play station, saying that she had already played more than enough games and she was really pushing it. She started pleading with me, and I snapped and told her I was taking away the play station for a few days, depending on how she behaved (I was never going to take it away for more than a week).
She started moaning and saying I was on work calls so she thought I was fine with it. I told her that she is 14 now and she needs to be able to manage her own behavior. She has been cold to me for the past couple of days and I am wondering whether I am in the right. Reddit, AITA?
I’m going with a light YTA. I feel like your rules and boundaries I completely legitimate and reasonable. However, she really didn’t misbehave in an overly negative way. She probably lost track of time. She’s 14. It happens. Taking away the system is a HUGE deal. Especially if it’s “for no longer than a week”.
That kind of punishment would be more on par with bad grades or back talking or throwing a fit, etc. If she’s just wanting to play her favorite game more and asking for it back, that’s normal behavior for a 14yo. A conversation would boost moral and help her understand your side better. Taking the game for an undetermined time can cause anxiety and resentment. Be careful, OP.
NTA. You had rules and she tried to get around them. And if you let her, she will continue (at least my sister did) to do that and learn exactly when and how to get around the rules. And I don't think 4 hours a day maximum on holidays is a really strict rule.
You were right to take it away. But I would have given' it back the next day and told her that if she breaks the rules again, the time without the console doubles every-time. So she can learn to be responsible and the consequences.
YTA. what did she do that warranted punishment here? Why is her behavior suddenly a factor? She was keeping to herself- if homework and chores are done, let her spend her free time as she wishes.
You’re more than welcome to encourage her to do other things that are stem/art related if you’re so worried that she’s wasting her life (she isn’t, she’s 14), but it seems that she’s happy building on Minecraft.
YTA for the disproportionate and undeserved punishment and for lying to her. She needs to manage her behavior? She was quietly playing a game and her parent took it from her and promised to withhold it for a week for no reason other than the fact that you don’t like or value video games. of course she was upset.