When this dad does the unthinkable at Christmas, he asks Reddit:
My daughter (I'm her dad) was married to her high school sweetheart Jason. He is a kind, sweet boy and we thought they were perfect for each other until she decided to cheat.
They are now divorced and she is dating the girl who wrecked their marriage. I don't have a problem with my daughter dating a woman but I do have a problem with my daughter cheating on her husband and dating a woman who was willing to be with a married woman. It is despicable behavior.
She justifies it by saying that he was controlling and my elder daughter took her side by telling me that Jason had shown up drunk after finding out that my younger daughter cheated on him.
She told me that he wanted to speak to my younger daughter but my older daughter's husband, Dave didn't let him into their house. I don't find this to be credible enough evidence.
I am close to Jason and I still stay in touch with him. He told me that he couldn't go home for Christmas this year and he was going to be alone. I could see that he was sad and miserable. I invited him to our Christmas dinner.
Both of my daughters are upset with me. The elder one thinks that I shouldn't take his side in the divorce while the younger one decided she didn't want to spent Christmas with us and my elder daughter also cancelled.
I think I am doing the right thing and my wife agrees with me but I can't shake the feeling that I am making a mistake and I don't want to spent Christmas without either of my daughters. AITA?
YTA - Unless your goal was to never see your children again, in which case congrats. There is no way that you could have expected your daughter to want to spend Christmas with her ex, so you knew exactly what you were doing when you invited him.
Good god. While our society continues to reinforce heterosexuality and monogamy as the one true standard for relationships and put people in these boxes and create fear and shame for leaving them, cheating will happen.
It is a product of the society we live in. And those who see it as black and white and not a deeper, complex issue are doing no favors to literally anyone.
People should not cheat, but if you cannot fathom or understand in any way why someone could do it, why they might feel like they need to, or accidentally fall into it, if you can’t understand it, you need to do some expanding on your emotional intelligence skills.
The ‘hero and villains as plain black and white good and evil’ is a children’s story trope.
If you can’t understand that real people are more diverse and complex, that cheating doesn’t make someone inherently EVIL and completely undeserving of all love and respect ever, I don’t know what to tell you except that maybe you are engaging in children’s fantasies and not the real world.
OPs daughter is in a relationship with a woman—very possible she struggled heavily with her sexuality. In addition, she said her husband was very controlling, and she likely had a hard time trying to get out of a controlling relationship.
Anyone who sees her and her alone as a blatant villain for cheating, regardless of the circumstances involved, is incapable of a deeper, complex emotional intelligence.Also YTA OP.