Daughter moves in with dad after divorce, mom says, 'how dare you, he's a monster.'
When this daughter is conflicted about her parents, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for moving in with my dad after he and my mother separated/divorced?'
I’m 18F, I’ve got a sibling who’s a few months old now. My parents (37F and 42M) separated 9 months ago, for 2 months then got back together and permanently separated 3 months ago.
My parents were each others first relationship, something I’ve overheard my dad complaining about.
A while ago we went through a tough period, my mother got pregnant and 5 months in miscarried, a month later it turned out that my dad had been having an affair - my parents tried to work it out, found out the AP was pregnant and that was the end of it.
When they separated my dad wanted to make it work, so when my mother said she was moving into grandmas (7 hours away) dad asked if I’d live with him, thinking it’d bring mum home.
Mum begged me to go with her, I didn’t I believed it was best because a) school/friends and I did believe my parents could work through it.
They didn’t, dads new girlfriend and baby moved in (new girlfriend is pretty cool actually) so I guess mum found out because she texted me; “it breaks my heart you picked sides, you could’ve visited me or even texted but you haven’t…I love you, but you’ve behaved selfishly”
I texted back asking if she expected me to move away from friends/family/school, my dad didn’t cheat on me! And they could’ve moved past it because it was only because they were going through a hard time. No response, I think I’ve been blocked.
I didn’t text because I haven’t been able to pay my phone bill. AITA? I don’t think I am.
Let's find out.
idp1540 writes:
N T A for not moving, but YTA for not contacting your mom at all. She’s recently gone through a divorce, miscarriage, and her lifelong partner having an affair and getting another woman pregnant. That’s a lot to go through alone.
Yeah, she’s an adult, but it doesn’t mean you can’t check in on her to see how she is. Also, the response “he didn’t cheat on me” is plain insensitive. It’s also odd to blame her for the divorce.
Yeah, they could’ve possibly moved past it, but why is that the responsibility of the person that was cheated on?
Also, you willingly let your dad use you as a tactic to manipulate your mom into forgiving him after her had an affair is just gross. Don’t you think your mom deserves better?
I understand being young and not wanting to leave your friends and life, but at least have a shred empathy for your mom.
18darlenia writes:
Right reminds me of those fu!#&d up text stories where the selfish kids take the horrible parents side then realize how bad they messed up later when the parent they disrespected and hurt wants nothing to do with them anymore.
She thinks mom blocked her good now she gets to make a choice continue being a selfish heartless human being to the woman who carried birthed and nurtured or start digging her butt out of her selfish hole she dug herself YTA.
alarmedjellyfish14 writes:
I mean, Dear God, the poor woman had to deal with a cheating husband and that's hard enough, but then a miscarriage, and then the affair partner is pregnant?
And that cheating, inconsiderate, greedy, manipulative asshole moves in the affair partner and baby just because he didn't get his way and the wife moved to her parents for some real support?
And her 18-year-old daughter lives with the dad, plays best buddies with the affair partner, seemingly blames her mother for that happening because she didn't just immediately forgive the cheating asshole, and doesn't so much as visit or check-in with her poor mother a single time?!
And she's mostly living there because her father wanted to use her as a pawn in the divorce? And this is her version trying to look like the victim, thinking this will make her mother look like the asshole? The lack of self-awareness is astounding with this one.
YTA I can't believe what a selfish, self-absorbed, inconsiderate, insensitive asshole you are. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised, because we know exactly which parent you got it from.