Daughter finds out the truth about where dad and step siblings went on social media.
When this daughter is upset, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for holding a grudge against my dad and stepsiblings?'
A few weeks ago I learned from my step brother's TikTok that my dad, step mom and two step brothers are in Paris. I was staying with my mom at the time. I'm F16 and would have loved to be there but they didn't even tell me they were going.
I immediately sent a text to my dad asking if they're enjoying their time in Paris and despite reading it he didn't reply until late at night. Then he tried to play dumb and said it's great and he wished I could be there. YEAH ME TOO! So I replied that he could have taken me and he said it wasn't possible and we'll talk about it later.
So when they returned I told them that I'm hurt that they didn't take me. My dad took me aside and told me that their finances are very tight, this vacation was a gift from step mom's parents and they only bought it for my dad, their daughter and their own grandchildren and not me.
He reminded me that I shouldn't act in an entitled way. They were effectively guests (even though the grandparents weren't there, they just paid for it) and I wasn't invited so I shouldn't act in an entitled way.
I wasn't convinced, they could have refused to go without me, paid for me themselves, gone somewhere cheaper, stayed a little less longer, or asked my mom to pitch in (and she would have).
Me not being there was exclusionary. If this was only about money they could have made it work. So I told my dad that I was disappointed in him.
So came last night and my step mom's parents came over for dinner. The subject of the vacation came up and everyone was taking about it and I was just sitting there being quiet until I thanked them for doing such a nice thing for the 'family' while my dad looked at me in a frowny way.
Everyone went quiet, my dad tried explaining that I should have understood that this was a very expensive gift, I'm acting like an entitled brat and should go to my room if I can't behave myself. I said it doesn't seem like I belong anyway and told them to enjoy 'your' family dinner and left.
Later the grandmother came to my room and tried explaining that they gifted this to their grandchildren and couldn't afford to include me as well.
She said they initially only had a budget for 3 (their daughter and grandchildren) but stretched themselves to 4 to include my dad as well, but while they wished they could have done it for me to they could really not stretch it to 5.
So I told her my problem is with my dad and I have no beef with her, but she doesn't get to act like she cares about me either and it's ok. I was like 'I'm a stranger to you and you don't care about me, so have some balls, put your big girl pants on and wear it on your sleeve' and asked her to get the F out of my room.
She left and I heard her telling my dad that I was very rude to her, so I'm grounded until further notice. Am I acting like an entitled brat and AITA in this situation?
Let's find out.
oddask78 writes:
When I was 16 and wanted to travel abroad my parents had a deal that I needed to earn some of the $$ myself. Now, these weren't family trips. But a 16yo can earn money babysitting and doing odd jobs to defray costs of travel.
The fact your dad did not tell you and did not even bother to try and find a way to make it work shows you what kind of man he is.
Please ask to move to your mom's 100%. He has made his choice, and his family is very comfortable treating you like garbage. Don't take it. Take him for college tuition and decide in your 20s if you want to bother with him again.
You're right to be mad, and NTA now, but if you keep yourself in this toxic situation, you would be T A. Stepgrandma literally gaslit you and now you're grounded?? Run, OP.
redditor8 writes:
Op's dad has shown her that he has a new family now. The cold hard truth is that he simply doesn't care about her. OP, move to your mothers permanently. Your father has shown you where his priorities lie, and they are not with you. NTA.
matchblacks7 writes:
Or, Dad could have declined! Taking step-grandmother at her word, it was a stretch to include Dad as the 4th.
He could have simply said “I understand there are limited resources and while I would love to go, I don’t want to exclude my daughter.” (Of course SGM could have been lying about the price / affordability…but even so, Dad could have seen how hurtful this would be to OP.) Op, NTA.