When this daughter is furious with her mother, she asks Reddit:
I honestly think my mother is a terrible human being so i might be bias, so im asking here.
I (26m) am very protective of my siblings (19f, 16m, 8m with special needs) since i have basically raised them even when I was a child myself and since becoming an adult have become their guardian.
This is due to our mother always being away for 'mommy time' (her way of saying going to the club, taking drugs then getting railed by what ever guy she was clinging to for free drugs. Also in and out of prison)
My sister (19f) wanted to try and fix her relationship with our mother since apparently our mother is getting better and is going through programs. I know this song and dance, she says shes better and shes really good at acting like it, someone believes her bs, she get in their good graces till she can ask for money to 'get back on her feet' then bam, the bitch is gone.
I warned my sister about all of this because as much as i love my sister shes to forgiving and gullible. But also told her shes an adult now and im not going to stop her but just be careful.
On the day she was to met up with her she was to nervous and anxious to go alone especially after not seeing her for 7 years and i could see it so i offered to go with her as support.
A very important detail is that my sister has always been a tomboy but kind of repressed that side when we still live with our mother since she was very abusive about it and was a huge bully.
Since living with me she has gone full tomboy and is very much masculine presenting, im so happy shes comfortable with me that she can be who she wants. But a lot of people do think shes trans so thats a sore spot for her since she still identifies as a woman.
Well the second we get into the restaurant and sit down our mothers first words were 'oh my god, your not one of those transgenders are you?' With a disgusted look on her face.
My sister ran out crying. I told my mother shes a soulless bitch who doesn't deserve her children's love and is going to die unloved and alone. She called me an asshole and other names while i left.
I feel like an asshole because i stooped to her level but some part of me still thinks she deserved those words. AITA?
NTA. Your mom is old enough to know better, yet she chose to kick off a moment with her estranged kids with hate and criticism. She is a broken individual. Nothing you or your sister can do will save her from herself, so it is better to protect yourself.
I too have a soulless parent and a younger sibling who is more apt to forgive. Support your sibling, but keep your own boundaries. Your sis will need to come to their own conclusions based on their own painful experiences.
NTA. You are 100% in the right here!! You not only stood up for your sister but yourself!!
I would gently use this as a teaching moment with your sister as to why you have gone no or low contact with your mother, and suggest that she may want to do so as well. I would also let you sister know how the conversation went after she left so that she knows you always have her back!!
Keep up the good work in rising your siblings and keep your mother away - nothing good can come from letting her back in.
NTA. Your mother is a terrible asshole, homophobe, and general horrible human. And you're right, she doesn't deserve the love of her kids.
I'm sorry your sister is so hurt. My heart goes out to her. Being misgendered sucks and folks need to get ok with the fact that cis women can be tomboys and that's okay. It doesn't make them any less of a woman.
Just like being trans doesn't make someone less of whatever gender they identify as.
I hope she learns from this that her birthing unit is not worthy of her time, money, thoughts, or love. Only people good to her are worth those things.
Best wishes to your sister and family. Hopefully your mother leaves you all alone soon.