Man gives fiancé ultimatum, 'it's either me or your dogs at our wedding, not both.'
When this man give shis fiance an ultimatum, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for telling my fiancée she can either have me at our wedding or her best friend and their dogs and we'd get married at a courthouse?'
Jessica(30F) and I(29M) are getting married next year. We've been doing the wedding planning, got places and things picked out, its been going good until we hit this snag. Abby is Jessica's best friend and maid of honor.
Both love dogs, they both have dogs. When we started talking about the wedding Jessica told me all about this plan they both had that when each of them got married, they'd have doggy wedding ceremony between their dogs and their future husband's dogs at the same time.
I don't have a dog, not a dog guy, so there is no potential for that to happen. I like her dog enough and let her do what she will with him, and I do get him treats and toys sometimes. I thought that would be the last I heard of that.
She and Abby started to talk about how cute it would be to include both of their dogs in our wedding party. Not my thing, but I have friends and family that have done something similar and I want her to enjoy the day so I said okay thinking they'd just be up at the alter or something like that.
Nope. They want their dogs to get *married* during our wedding. I wasn't too keen on the idea and raised concerns like what would they do with both dogs for the rest of the day? What if the venue we picked doesn't allow pets?
We went back and forth and I agreed that they could do their dog ceremony at the end of our ceremony.
Couple weeks later Jessica and Abby bring it up again- they want parts of the reception to be dedicated to their dogs *friendship*. Shit like puppy picture slideshow, a cake for them, dog-friendly favor bags because they want their friends and her family to bring their dogs too.
I told them no and that I already made one compromise on the issue and don't want a bunch of dogs around for our entire wedding and reception and that if they did that, we'd have to find an all-new venue probably.
I reminded her that she was near the limit of what she could contribute toward our wedding funds and I'd be paying the rest, and I don't want to pay extra for stuff for a bunch of dogs.
They both said that this was really important to them so I told Jessica point blank- We can stick to what we originally agreed to, or she and Abby could have their costly party that allows dogs by themselves and we'd just get married at the courthouse by ourselves.
Abby told Jessica I was being manipulative and making ultimatums and wanted her to go stay at her place until 'OP pulls his head out of his ass'. Jessica didn't go but we're still going back and forth.
She still wants things her way and feels I'm being too selfish. I don't think I am because I want an enjoyable wedding and marriage with Jessica- not Jessica and Abby and their pets. AITA?
Let's find out.
downty1908 writes:
Nta.... wtf did i just read? A doggy wedding, wtf is wrong with people!!!! Dogs are animals, not babies!! This level of obsession with an animal would freak me the fuck out. And i would, personally, nope out of the relationship!
noperformance78 writes:
You’re totally right about people that treat their pets as humans AND I have had two different cats that are better than most people I know and astoundingly more “plugged in” relationship-wise.
My current 18 yr old cat used to walk me to the grocery store and wait in the bushes nearby to walk home with me. She’s having a bit of a renaissance in her old age lately and exploring the neighborhood with me again on walks, no leash. She understands commands.
She also talks a lot at home. My 12 yr old has noticed she mimics human words when responding to questions from me. Honestly? Her intellect and sense of loyalty is a little unnerving.
Would I include her in my wedding? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
She’s smarter and fiercer than any dog I’ve had or known. I’d love to move internationally, I’m waiting until she’s passed because at this point, she wouldn’t make the trip safely.
Other than that, she’s still a cat. A very smart being that requires respect, but she’s not a human person.
If I can understand this distinction… oh boy. NTA.