Man calls brother 'disgusting' at his daughter's bday party, makes him cry.
When this man is disgusted with his brother, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for calling my brother a “disgusting gross, man,” at his daughter’s birthday party?'
My brother, “Paul,” and I are not close at all. We have very different worldviews and have incompatible personalities. I can tolerate him, but I would never consider him a friend. He’s been married to “Lisa,” for one or two years now and they have a beautiful daughter together.
My girlfriend, “Amy,” and I were invited to celebrate my niece's first birthday. Most of the family was invited, and it would be the first time I would have seen them all together (I only see my family once or twice a year, with a few exceptions.)
Amy and I arrived a little earlier than we were supposed to and instead of waiting in the car, we decided to go in.
The first thing I noticed is how calm my brother seemed to be in contrast to Lisa, who was frantically running up and down. When he saw Amy, he immediately handed the baby over to her and got a beer to sit down and watch TV.
Lisa was clearly struggling, and he was content with a beer and Netflix.
I don’t want to be rude and maybe this was a one-time thing but it bothered me how uninvolved he was. He handed Amy a baby with a full diaper with vomit on its clothes.
Eventually Amy, Lisa and I finished everything. The house was clean, the food was ready, and Lisa looked ready to host a big gathering. We all paid zero attention to Paul.
When my family arrived, I thought everything was going well. I avoided Paul and enjoyed speaking to my family. After we had sat down to eat, Paul approached me, drunk, thanking me for helping Lisa. I did not want to be around him for long and moved out of his way.
He was very persistent.
I was ignoring him but he started talking about Amy. “Protect Amy like a “real” man.” or “You’ve got a great woman by your side.” You know what, whatever. It was slightly odd and mildly uncomfortable, but I was able to brush it away. Amy was trying to sober him up a little bit before the cake-cutting so she was “selectively hearing.”
We tried to get him to stop talking and drink water. However, he had a lot to say about Lisa. He was complaining about how pregnancy “ruined” Lisa’s body and how a baby ruined his life. Amy and I kept looking at each other awkwardly and we were soon going to leave him be.
We didn’t leave the conversation soon enough.
He was complaining to be about his sex life, or lack thereof, and commenting on how desperately he wanted to have sex with someone “fit like Amy.”
This made the both of us extremely uncomfortable. Amy left, quickly apologising to Lisa. I told him that he was a “disgusting, gross man who needs some f**ing help,” before I left.
Apparently, this made him super upset and he started wailing at the party. Paul told everyone that the reason he was crying was because of my words to him.
He got over it quickly, but a few people told me I was wrong to shame a father on his child’s birthday. I could have probably left without making a statement. AITA?
Let's find out.
ghostofmunich writes:
'Father'. lol ok. Your brother could not be bothered to help his wife prepare for his child's party. One time thing or not, that is not acceptable. He then handed his baby over to the first available woman to deal with a diaper and soiled clothing.
During his child's birthday party he made remarks about how said child ruined his life, ruined his wife's body, and compared her now ruined body to someone he finds more attractive whom he'd prefer having sex with. His brother's girlfriend to put a cherry on top.
You are NTA and he should be ashamed of himself. I hope Lisa figures out how to leave him.
pollyadler writes:
NTA. This guy sounds like a misogynistic (commenting about his wife's body after pregnancy and childbirth, like really, and handing the kid to, of course, the first available woman), deadbeat creepy asshole and I can't understand why someone would be with someone like him, let alone have a kid with that.
Maybe he was different before the birth. But Lisa needs to get the heck away from him asap, and he needs to not be allowed anywhere near Amy because on top of all that, he sounds rapey.
Dude needs to get a vasectomy and live somewhere else, by himself, where he cannot ruin people's lives anymore. Please please PLEASE talk with Lisa if you can, make her see how her life is going to be if she stays with that 'man'.
justmeat23 writes:
NTA. Tell “a few people” that the father was wrong to act shameful on his child’s birthday. Nobody should blame you for any discomfort they felt over Paul’s tears. He deserved your every word and then some. Are you the only family member with enough spine to stand up to Paul?
You were so right to call him out. Maybe meet up again in person 1:1 to spell out in step by step detail exactly why he is such a disgusting gross man just in case he was too drunk or is too stupid to have gotten it the first time.
I feel very sorry for his wife and child. Supporting those 2 is the only reason to not go NC with Paul.