When this woman is upset with her grandparents, she asks Reddit:
My mom died (F) when I was 6 and my dad got remarried when I was 11. My stepmom has always been really great.
She married a guy with young kids but never tried to take over or place herself into the family where my mom once was, she created a new slot, a different slot, and made it work.
But my dad's parents have always been pretty old school in their thinking. They used to see it as disrespectful that we called our stepmom Jean or that she didn't adopt us.
My dad and stepmom's wedding was sort of rushed, because Jean was pregnant and my dad was due to have surgery on his back, so they did a very quick courthouse thing.
Fast forward and it's about to me 30 years since they married. And my grandparents are giving her shit. I didn't realize at the time but they had told her she should have worn some of my mom's jewelry, should have made some speech about taking over from her and tried to lay claim to my mom's life and possessions in some kinda way.