Groom requests that fiancé eliminate one bridesmaid to accommodate his OCD.
When this groom is upset, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for requesting my fiancee to renounce one of her bridesmaids ?'
I (23M) and my fiancee (22F) are supposed to get married this April. Now my fiancee has 6 bridesmaids confirmed at her wedding, while I only have 5 groomsmen.
Why is this an issue you may ask ? Well, I have OCD, which makes me a perfectionist and prone to get fixated on certain details, which I become very anxious/uncomfortable if I can't fix these details after my liking.
This is one such instances : I really wish to have the same number of groomsmen and bridesmaids at our wedding and I really tried initially to find a sixth groomsman, but I'm not a very sociable person with a large group of close friends and so I couldn't find anyone else fitting of the position.'
That's why I decided to ask my fiancee to drop one of her bridesmaids from the line-up. I thought she'd understand my side cause she knows how much I struggle with OCD, but instead she blew off at me about using my condition to control her and alienate her from one of her friends just to conform to my demands.
I feel like she's a bit unreasonable, she's not even that close with 2 of her bridesmaids, so she could easily drop one of them from the bridesmaids line-up and just have her attend the wedding as a normal guest without too much drama...
plus she should want for her own groom to be comfortable during the wedding, which I'm afraid I might not be cause of this unbalance between the number of...
groomsmen and bridesmaids which would eat at me and make me anxious/stress me out for the entirety of the wedding, but it seems like this time my fiancee is refusing to see my side and is putting her foot down. AITA ?
Let's find out.
solstice87 writes:
This! I am also diagnosed OCD, and if there is anything I've learned in the years dealing with it, it's that it must be faced head on.
Do I still have issues? Yes. But after therapy and meds, I am able to recognize when my OCD is getting the better of me. Occasionally, when it affects no one but me, I can't fight it. But when it affects my relationships, I've used the tools I learned in therapy to reign it in.
Mental health is a serious issue. And depending on where you live, I understand how difficult it can be to get treatment.
However, a person should not just give in and decide 'this is how I am, deal with it or not. ' It's OP's responsibility to recognize and acknowledge his illness is causing him to be unreasonable, and learn tools to deal with, and dissipate his anxiety. OP, YTA.
I understand your struggle, but you have to learn how to deal with it and not expect everyone to cater to it.
specificsame882 writes:
YTA. You’re asking your fiancée to blow up the relationship with one of your friends because of a condition that you have, that is not her responsibility, that is treatable.
And you won’t even compromise by putting in the effort to find another groomsmen. Are you sure she isn’t reconsidering the wedding by now?
fatigueerror7 writes:
YTA Your OCD is the problem here. Not her having one extra bridesmaid. Don’t ask her to drop one. Ask her for help with finding another groomsman. Maybe ones of the bridesmaids has a bf?
Maybe you have a cousin or nephew or uncle? You can’t ask her to hurt a friend because of your OCD. That’s not fair.