Groom upsets all the vegans at his wedding, they say, 'you're completely thoughtless.'

When this groom is concerned that he made a mistake, he asks Reddit:

'AITA For doing what I did to the vegans at my wedding?'

My wife and I got married a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't a huge wedding, we had about 75 guests. During the planning, a handful of my wife's family members asked us about dinner options because they are vegan.

None of my family members are vegan but we wanted to make sure that everyone had good food to eat. At that point we hadn't talked with a caterer yet, but my wife assured them we would offer vegan options for them.

We found a caterer that offered delicious vegan food (we tasted it, very good). When we were planning the seating chart, my wife mentioned that one of her cousins said that she can't be seated at a table where meat is served.

I asked a few questions about it but my wife got frustrated with me so I dropped it.

But accommodating this was difficult and eventually I got frustrated too and told my wife that if her cousin is going to be so militaristically vegan about this, then we are just going to seat all the vegans at one table even if it meant splitting up families and friends.

After a few more discussions and my wife talking to her cousin again, my wife eventually relented to my idea of having a vegan table. We put that part of the planning behind us and moved on.

I literally didn't even think about it again until we started setting things up for the reception. My wife's mom noticed that some families weren't sitting at the same table and asked about it. I told her that we had to sit all the vegans at one table because of my wife's cousin.

My MIL got mad about this and said it's rude to have family members sitting at different tables and to have one table basically segregating the vegans from the rest of the guests. She said I was being completely thoughtless.

I told her that unless wife's cousin wants to sit at a table all by herself, this is the solution we came up with and we aren't going to change it now. MIL dropped it but I could tell she wasn't happy.

The ceremony went off perfectly but when it came time for the reception, there were grumblings about the vegan table from my wife's family.

While we were going around talking to people, a few of the vegans made comments about how they don't appreciate being singled out and separate from everyone else.

I tried to be polite about it, but the fact that they thought bringing this sort of thing up to me on my wedding day was appropriate really started to rub me the wrong way.

When my wife's cousin (the one who refused to sit at a table with meat) said something to me about it, I told her that we did that because of her and the next time someone asks me about it, I am going to tell them to talk to her about why we had a separate vegan table.

She told me I was being discriminatory against vegans and I just turned and walked away. I wasn't going to put up with that BS any more than I already had.

It's apparently still a thing within my wife's family and she feels I should have been more willing to find a different solution. AITA?

Let's find out.

kumaharlei writes:

YTA.The correct answer was responding to the cousin's request with 'No.' and letting her know in advance that she could not be accommodated. If she wanted to propose an alternative solution at that time, that would be fine.

I'm a vegetarian that will soon be a vegan, and I would be seriously upset being separated from my wife during an event when I have no issues sitting at a table where meat is being served.

tynnytim87 writes:

I’m not vegan or even vegetarian, and I find this bizarre. OP is definitely N T A to that specific annoying cousin - she deserved it. But it wasn’t cool to just lump everyone else who doesn’t eat meat at that table, away from their families, despite them showing no indications that they wouldn’t happily sit with meat eaters.

omnimain writes:

NTA but....Yeah, I can see how they might be a little upset about it too. My dad and his girlfriend are vegan's and would certainly be a bit like 'wtf?'

They certainly aren't offended by sitting beside people eating meat (if they were, they could like... never go out to eat with us, or eat with/around us, for example!!).

But, if it was explained that 'well, so-and-so said they just couldn't/wouldn't eat around meat eaters so, we had to put all the vegans at a table...' I think they'd 'get it'. Maybe be a bit annoyed still... but they'd get it at least. But OP is definitely NTA here.