Dad wants to 'replace daughter'; says, 'because of our history, I don't feel bad.'
"AITA for replacing my daughter and not including her as a part of my new family?"
I have 4 daughters, Charlie(25) and Amy(21) and my step daughters Claudia (15) and Rose (17). I had a son Isaac who was Charlie's twin. He passed away from leukemia when he was 19. When he was diagnosed at 14, there was a lot of medical bills to pay for Isaac's treatment, and I ended up working a lot to pay for his hospital bills.
During that time my ex-wife Brenda slept with Jake behind my back. I found out about the affair and we had a divorce when the twins were 15 and Amy 11. All of them knew the full story of what happened and my ex and I had 50/50 custody.
Charlie visited Brenda till she was 16 after which she stopped. We told Amy what happened when she was 14. But the thing is Jake is quite wealthy and Amy preferred it there more because she got spoiled. She eventually chose to stay with Brenda when she turned 16.
During this period I met Lucy I fell in love with her and got married when the twins were 19. Isaac passed away a few months after. Lucy herself h ad 2 daughters Claudia and Rose and they were both welcomed into the family. My son passed away a few months later.
When Amy moved with her mom permanently she cut off all ties with us. She didn't leave peacefully too. She insulted everyone in the family and left. One of the things she yelled was 'I don't want to be a part of this sh!tty family'. She went NC with us too.
On November, Jake and Brenda were charged with fraud, B&E, and apparently they were also in debt. They lost their homes and were thrown in jail. Since none of the other relatives were able to take her in, Amy came to us. I didn't want to take her in but Lucy convinced me to let her stay for a bit till she gets back on her feet.
Well ever since she left there have been a lot of changes to the house. And Amy has been complaining about them since she arrived. She complains about how she cant touch the snacks and how she has to pay for her own snacks and clothes(We feed her 3 meals a day + afternoon snacks).
How she was given the smallest guest bedroom and how the other girls got big personalized bedrooms. How on Christmas the girls got amazing gifts and she only got a gift card. The last straw for her was NYs. We took the girls to a big party while she stayed at home.
When we got back she started yelling at me how I'm a horrible father and how I replaced her with Claudia and Rose. I told her that she's the one who renounced the family and so she wasn't allowed in family things.
But a lot of people are telling me that I'm essentially replacing her for something she did when she was a young, impulsive teen. So reddit AITA?
Let's find out.
americanvenska writes:
NTA. Family, including our own children, don’t always work out in the end. She sounds spoiled and resentful of the fact that her choices haven’t panned out. You are doing the correct thing, but protect your family, and don’t allow her truculent self pity affect you. Good luck!
daisymae76 writes:
I had my Y-T-A vote ready when I read the title, but when I continued to read, Lord she sounds unhinged. NTA. She chose to not be apart of the family 5 years ago. She’s chosen to insult everyone and everything.
She can’t just come in and demand a bigger bedroom, she can’t just come in and demand you pay for her snacks, she can’t expect you to treat her like a Princess after 5 years of NC.
Honestly if it were me, I’d have kicked her out by now. I have no patience for that sort of behaviour, especially if I have other children to take care of too. And you’re not charging rent? You sound like a saint to me lol. NTA. Absolutely NTA.