Woman turns into 'major Karen' when her husband's doctor doesn't do his job.
When this woman is conflicted about her own behavior, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for arguing with my husbands doctor and acting like a Karen because they wouldn't listen?'
Husband has a sore foot. No injury or medical condition that would explain the pain but he hasn't been able to walk properly for about a week.
Being the absolute pain in my ass that he is, he's refused to go to the doctors until today, apparently he preferred to just pop paracetamol and complain to me.
It's gotten progressively more swollen and misshapen looking and today its gone a funny colour and he can't put any weight on it. So I called our GP who has sent him to the walk in clinic at our local hospital.
We finally get seen and the doctor refused to even examine it. Told him without even looking at the foot that it was a sprain and he wasn't going to prescribe him any painkillers so not to ask.
Then he started demonstrating some kind of exercises that involved going up and down on tiptoes and flexing the toes.
I asked if he would please just look as it has gone nearly black in some spots and looks similar to how my wrist looked when I broke it a few years ago. He huffed at me and asked where my medical degree was from.
It put my back up and I demanded to see another doctor or his senior. I was the asshole here because it wasn't me being treated so I get he thought I was a pushy cow- husband wouldn't say boo to a goose in medical situations and would have accepted the doctors instructions without any questions about actually needing to be examined.
Doctor left and we heard him outside the cubicle telling the senior doctor that they have a confrontational spouse who thinks her Web md searching qualifies her to instruct real doctors how to practice medicine. He also states that he suspects my husband of exaggeration to get opiates.
By the time the other doctor arrives I'm seething and lay out exactly what went on and explained I only want someone to look at the foot before sending us away.
He looks....cue xrays, an mri, the good painkillers and a walking boot cast thing with potential to need surgery because he's got 7 stress fractures in that foot- probably from running. Admittedly worse than they needed to be because he didn't get any treatment when it first started to hurt.
Second doctor and someone from the hospital admin come and apologise for the first doctor and ask if we want to make a formal complaint. So I did because the outcome of his not listening to the patient or family could have been worse. Husband did not.
Husband said later that the first doctor may get sacked because of me complaining and I should have left it because no real harm was done.
Was it an AH move to complain? I don't usually have Karen tendencies but he was just so patronising and dismissive and I kept thinking what if it was a young mother with a sick baby and he dissmised that- not everything would stand their ground and there could be really serious consequences.
Let's find out.
greekamericandom writes:
NTA. You were right to be insistent. The doctor was not doing his job. You did what you had to do.
I'm going to add that your husband is a huge AH here too. Not taking care of your health and making yourself a burden on your spouse is downright selfish. He needs a stern talking to.
At very least, you need to stop enabling him. In the future, stop dealing with these instances. If he dares complain, call him out on the need to take care of himself and not be a burden on you.
captainkirk7 writes:
NTA. First, you were not being a Karen. Being a Karen is making something non-existent into an issue and/or being a jerk for no reason.
Your husband's foot needed to be looked at and the fact that the first doc didn't is their fault, not yours.
HPCreader9 writes:
Your husband is especially TA because his argument is that 'no harm was done'. If you hadn't complained and had listened to the first doctor, then major harm would've been done.
Another patient like your husband who is on their own and not able to advocate for themself, would've gone home with 7 stress fractures that would get worse and worse.