Woman buys cousin $4K gift; cousin's mom says, 'you're humiliating me as a parent.'
When this woman who married into a rich family buys her teenage cousin an amazing gift, she asks Reddit:
"AITA? I bought my cousin’s daughter a $4K gift for Christmas and ended up spending more on her than her mother did. AITA for not checking with her mother first?"
I happened to marry into a family with an insane amount of money. More than they know what to do with, quite honestly. I spent approx. $15k per child for my three children for Christmas, which I am immensely grateful to be able to spend on them. I also donated the same amount to a charity of each child’s choice, as well.
My mom’s side has a rule that we only get each other Christmas gifts if we will be seeing each other that year on Christmas day. (For cousins with children, we get the kids gifts rather than their parents.)
My mother hosted this year and about ten of my cousins and their children were coming. I bought each of my cousin’s children something unique, not really thinking about the price, but more what I think they would like.
My cousin (35M) has a fourteen year old daughter. She is the result of a one night stand, so most of us in the family have only met her mother a handful of times and for only a few minutes.
My daughter is also fourteen and two parts of her Christmas day gifts were a Cartier Love Ring and a YSL purse. I bought the same for my cousin’s daughter, as they are very close and I thought she’d really like it.
My cousin’s daughter excitedly facetimed her mother to show her the gifts that I bought her and upon ending the facetime, called my cousin very upset. She said that I spent more on her daughter for Christmas than she had and was livid with me.
I genuinely didn’t think about the cost of the gifts, just more what I think a fourteen year old girl would really like, especially considering I have a fourteen year old daughter myself and know what they like.
My cousin’s daughter’s mother is really upset with me because she feels I made her look bad to her daughter, but I only ever intended on getting her daughter gifts I thought she’d like. AITA?
Let's find out.
oxfordcomma writes:
YTA. “I’m too rich to understand why the poors would get angry with me spending thousands of dollars on gifts for their children.” Yes, my friend, you should ALWAYS run gift ideas by parents.
If it’s not something small (think less than $20), it’s always a good idea to run it by the parents to make sure they’re ok with such a purchase AND to make sure they don’t already have it.
In some cases, parents may have punished a child For bad behavior by delaying a purchase of something they want until a behavior improves, and you making that gift for Christmas gets in the way of discipline. It’s about being considerate.
aitaobsession writes:
Going against the grain - NTA. You are definitely living in a bubble but essentially got twin gifts for your daughter and her cousin who you say are close.
Her mother overreacted because she’s insecure about the amount of money you spent. Most of the comments seem to be jealousy and bitterness as well. Let me assure you, if anyone were to buy my daughter such lovely gifts, I’d simply be jealous that I didn’t get them too!
activelyresting writes:
I'm poor. Like, single mum on disability welfare poor, but if some random family member bought my teen a lavish gift for Xmas, I'd be so happy for my daughter. Extra especially as it's matching a cousin who's close.
I hope all those Y T A people can take a moment to think how that girl would feel seeing her close cousin getting such fancy gifts and not receiving much herself.
I'd say it's still advised to check with parents before gifting children really big things, especially if it's kids you're not very close to. I can say my parents have always checked in with me before spending even $100 on my kid (what counts as a splurge in my realm). I'm sure this child was thankful, and I'm sure your daughter can enjoy bonding with her cousin :)