They turned on you out of nowhere? 15 people reveal how they were 'love bombed.'
Love bombing is an extremely popular phrase these days. Everyone and their mother seems to fall victim to 'the love bomber.' The worst part about this type of bombing is that it's so hard to spot.
How can you possibly differentiate love bombing from real, genuine interest? Thankfully, these 15 people took to the internet to reveal how they were love bombed and then betrayed. In retrospect, there were always signs that their S.O. was a bit...off. Take a look.
1.
THIS! I met someone last year that totally lovebombed me, I felt it but still decided to give it a go. It was nice at first, I felt like a princess but when I spent time over at his place I could never have a moment to myself, he was soo clingy I started to grow resentful.
Then as some problems started to arise he just kinda ghosted, as fast as he arrived. My advice is anyone who does things too fast is a huge red flag. -deltaforcevalentine
2.
I’ve been love-bombed a few times and I still have a hard time identifying it. Especially because people love-bomb for different reasons, so the situations all look a bit different from each other.
Like dudes who just want sex, so they’re super complimentary and give lots of attention, which dies down once they’re bored of you. Then there’s dudes who need a lot of validation, so they give it to you in hopes of getting it in return.
These guys tend to send a lot of selfies, give lots of compliments that can easily be flipped back to them (“this is the best first date I’ve ever been on”, “you’re the best kisser I’ve ever been with”, etc. hoping you’ll say the same)...
and talk about their insecurities and low self-esteem in a way that fishes for validation (rather than genuine vulnerability without seeking assurance). -charmorris4346
3.
That last type is the guy I just broke up with. Two months after our first date he was looking at houses big enough for us to blend families and talking about marriage. Meanwhile I'm like 'boy, you don't know me. I could be a horrible person and you just wanna jump right in?'. It made me think a bit less of him and his ability to judge risks.
It felt like he didn't care who I really was, he was just trying to fill a role in his life and get remarried before 40yo.
I checked the boxes and that was all he needed. But I hate the feeling of being put on a pedestal or being expected to play a supporting character in someone else's life, so I dipped.
I want a partner who sees me clearly and loves me for who I am as a person, faults and all, not one who's built up an ideal manic pixie dream girl version of me in their head. -opalescenttreeshark45
4.
My ex love-bombed me then after a year decided he no longer felt like being nice. I’ve also experienced some “nice guys” that let the mask slip after a few dates.
It’s made me incredibly nervous dating now because I love romantic gestures but I get stressed when guys come on too thick - I feel like it’s going to all snowball into a nice guy situation or eventually crumble like my ex. -stocar
5.
I had a guy do something similar (granted he worked a couple blocks from me) but would push to meet up at lunches, or come by for a kiss, then showed up with flowers or treats, etc.
We went on 4 dates (and met up 3 times on these little lunch meets) and he basically said if I didn’t sleep with him the next time I saw him, he’d “have to punish me or make some hard decisions about our future.” Like say no more fam, I’m out lol.
He called me a week later crying because he’d bought me expensive shoes and his mom will be mad because she handles his finances (he’s 35).
I refuse to do any meetups during the workday now, can’t have that stress and jobs come first. His place sounds suss too- you dodged a bullet!- potent99
6.
Love bombing is more verbal and the lack thereof is them just patiently making time for you and caring about you without reminding you repeatedly about how awesome you are without knowing you.
Seriously. Love bombing, as I’ve found, is all about future promises and hot air. It’s mostly verbal and it lacks anything that would count as effort or follow-through. -orbitalmechanix
7.
A guy I had a thing with earlier this year lovebombed me hard. It was supposed to be NSA, casual fun.
A week later I was sleeping over, we were ordering takeout every time, making dinners together, he would talk about taking me on trips and going on dates and we would watch movies and hang out.
He almost told me he loved me about a month in, but caught himself. He mentioned moving in together once when he was drunk, but redacted it once he sobered up.
He kept envisioning a future with me in it, but anytime I tried to progress things, he would shut down. He would accuse me of expecting more from him than he was comfortable with.
I told him I referred to him as my 'boyfriend' with a good friend of mine, and he told me not to, because he wasn't my boyfriend. I told him then that something isn't a thing just because it doesn't have a label.
We broke up about a month ago. I'm devastated. In the span of about 10 minutes we went from having our usual conversation to him basically saying that I was too much for him, and that I was a waste of his time. In that first part of the conversation, he had invited me over the next night.
He has since ghosted me. - amandaem98
8.
Last woman I dated seriously who told me that she loved me - ended things with me because I was more involved with my youngest than her ex-husband was with their son (4 days a month for him). Yet she crucified him for not spending enough time with their son... I'm just not gonna figure that one out, you know? -heyitswinnie
9.
I wasn't ghosted, but I've had the love bombing then he disappeared shortly after. You just feel like 'WTF just happened there??' It's so easy to question everything.
Mine basically said he wasn't ready for a relationship, after previously telling me that he was already thinking about living together, taking care of me, our future, etc. I was the one wary of moving too fast, but still was totally into him and wanted him to meet my kids, etc.
So I was clear that I was into him and wanting things to progress, but I was definitely not pressuring him into anything. It was so weird that I still can't figure out what that was all about. -thesedays3780
10.
I’m 32, and he was more than a decade older than me. We did not meet online but through work. He did the love bomb thing; but it also became clear his “good terms relationship” with his ex-wife was beyond an amicable divorce.
There were no children, but an ex-wife who loved him deeply and was so hurt by his (admitted) bad behavior during their relationship, and for reasons unknown to me, she couldn’t make the clean break she clearly deserved.
He would breadcrumb her. Moral of the story, he’s a narcissist and I walked away. He took me on the most exhilarating dates but that was never worth the heartbreak his ex was still going through years after the divorce.
I can definitely relate to your situation and it hurts and sucks but better to be in this situation than the inevitable one down the road. - restlesschickens
11.
This same thing happened to me about a year ago. (I'm also a single 33 year-old woman). This charming, sweetheart of a guy did all the initial pursuing.
He was the one who did everything that caused our relationship to move so, so quickly. He talked very specifically about the future, introduced me to everyone in his life and told them how excited he was about me, we discussed how we'd raise our kids, etc.
And it seemed like when I finally decided to let my guard down and get really invested and excited about what was happening, he was done with me.
It came out of nowhere. It was just so strange to see a grown man get so freaked out and panicked about the speed of something he initiated. -itsmecourtney
12.
I was talking to a boy on tinder for 2 months before meeting bc he was in my hometown and i was at school 5 hours away. We talked everyday and connected really well and when we met in person it was amazing and we spend a whole week togther.
For a few more months we dated, would travel to see each other and he told me he had not dated anyone in a long time and that i was the only one and that he'd be upset if i slept with or dated other guys.
He was from another province only in my city for the year to go to school and told me he was probably going to move here permanently. Anyways, after 5 months in total I found out he had a gf the whole time in his hometown.
I found her ig after he had not talked to me in 4 days which was odd and i never heard from him again. Worst part was that when i talked to the other girl , he tried to tell her i was crazy and lying.
I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE CAN DO THIS!!! but its been a year and im honestly over it,it just takes time and I wish you the best. -seriously98
13.
When someone tells you that you were engineered in a lab for him and he’s deleted Tinder before the first date, unmatch them, destroy your phone, and go to the courthouse to get a restraining order in the works. That’s unhinged, toxic behavior. Don’t fall for crap like that. -spartan2022
14.
Love bombing is a technique abusive people use to distract and overwhelm their target in order to move the relationship into an area where they can exert control—such as moving in together, making things official with the others parents, getting pregnant etc..
labeling calling too much as love bombing is dangerous because it can render the term meaningless when it really is dangerous and often the only sign a person has early on that a relationship may turn out to be abusive. -whoooodat
15.
Totally!! Anyone who texts constantly has some issues, IMO. I had a guy do that to me and then i got ghosted when i was like stop. “I like consistent communication, which is different than constant communication” and I completely agree.
Let me know you’re thinking about me without being too needy and clingy. That’s sexy. -badgeringcontent