When this girl gets her guy friend a more expensive gift than his girlfriend, she asks Reddit:
My friend's birthday was last week and I got him a gift that upset his girlfriend Just for context, I'm also a girl. I'm a lesbian who hasn't been mistaken for straight in yearrrrs tho - like I've been mistaken more often for a teenage boy than a straight woman TBH.
Anyway, back to the birthday gift.. i knew my friend was building a home woodshop and wanted to learn metal working, and I had this old MIG welder I haven't used in years. I've been trying to be more sustainable in gift giving and go for secondhand or homemade instead of buying retail.
So i cleaned it up, and gifted it to him with a note saying I could teach him how to use it. I had honestly been insecure giving him a used gift - I was hoping it wouldn't come off like I was regifting old junk from my shop, but I figured it'd be fine since it was a more expensive tool (like $500 new) and all my friends know I've sworn off shopping new.
But I was honestly surprised how it went - I went to my friends party and gave him the welder, and it was by far the gift he was the most excited about and he was saying how it was way too nice of a gift, I shouldn't have, and that on top of me teaching him to use it?
I was like 'Omg it's fine - honestly it's not new, and I'm just happy someone would use it because I haven't been! And joked that if he really felt like he owed me, he could learn how to use it on this fence I've been meaning to fix or replace.' I started drinking with a bunch of my friends there and his girlfriend came up to me later saying 'she knew what I was doing getting him that gift'
I was fairly drunk and unserious and was like 'What, trying to bribe my way into getting my fence fixed?' She got mad and said that it was super inappropriate to get a guy in a relationship a really expensive gift, it was hundreds of dollars and she couldn't afford that kinda gift. Plus one that meant he was gonna hang out with me one on one?
I was like 'girl when have you ever met a straight girl who likes welding? Like not to stereotype but... Look at me, do you really think I'm into your man?' She called me purposefully ignorant, and that it was just basic common sense to not get a guy friend a elaborate gift when he has a girlfriend. And not with a note asking to do something alone.
I got mad and was like 'I didn't say alone! You woulda been welcome if you asked literally any other way!' She said she didn't want to hang out when we welded my fence, she wanted me to back off and that 'every girl knows' these rules about what's appropriate around taken guys.
And I was like 'I dunno, that sounds like some straight people BS, I ain't always thinking about gender like that' Which was honestly kinda petty of me, but that really made her mad. AITA for the gift I gave my friend, and how I reacted to his girlfriend?
NTA. He's YOUR friend and it was a sweet gift. If she's insecure over what a lesbian gives her boyfriend then she needs to take a hike.
NTA, OP. I honestly tried to imagine any gift that another female could give my husband that would make me react this way. The only thing I could come up with was something that bluntly says sleep with me, i.e., lingerie. A welder and the offer to teach him how to use it doesn't say sleep with me, or even that I want to be more than friends.
NTA. She should be excited that her boyfriend has this opportunity. He wants to learn how to weld and now he can, even if he can’t afford the expensive equipment to get started.
Her reaction is pure insecurity and the opposite of how a loving partner should react. It’s also kind of homophobic, like she’s denying that lesbians who are not attracted to men really exist.