'AITA for helping my wife on her weight loss journey?' His wife says he his.
When this hubby is concerned that his wife will never be the same again, he gets her a present that sends wifey over the edge. Take a look at OP's story on Reddit:
'AITA for helping my wife on her weight loss journey?'
Me(27M) and my wife(26M) have been together six years and married for two. Our marriage is usually perfect and we just had a beautiful baby boy eight months ago. My wife had a tough pregnancy so she took the three months of it off work and has decided to be a stay at home mom.
She and I have been very busy for the last year because of this and have both gained weight, I gained 25 lbs and she gained nearly 80 lbs. So we decided TOGETHER we needed to make changes. I’ve been going to the gym in the morning but she says she doesn’t have time with the baby, which I understand.
I also usually work late so I assumed she would be making healthy dinners since she’s at home and she did for a couple of weeks but then she got back into buying unhealthy fast food. We spoke about this many times and she said she would try to make time and it seemed great, until I realize I had lost almost 15 lbs and she has gained 5.
We had a discussion about it and she was immediately very defensive and admitted when I am not home she gets herself fast food and does not work out at all. I know she is insecure about her body and to be honest I don’t find her very attractive any more either, of course I don’t say this to her face. Instead I decided to try and help her and this is where I may have messed up.
For her birthday, I got her a peloton, a subscription to a diet food delivery service, and a couple classes at a fancy gym near are house that she could go to while I babysat. When she first saw her gift she insisted that it was all to expensive and I should take it back but I assured her she was worth it.
After a while of going back and forth it spiraled into a fight where she said she has been struggling with the baby and I am trying to get her to lose weight instead of actually helping her. She started crying. I want to clarify that I think losing weight would help her feel better physically and mentally but she insist I am being an asshole. AITA?
Let's find out what internet users had to say. Some of them really ripped OP apart. Take a look.
eyethinkican writes:
YTA, as a working mom 40 weeks pregnant and an 18 mo old, I get body changes with couples and pregnancies! Fiancé gained weight with this second pregnancy too and he has a full on dad bod plus more to love. Attraction can change so I understand that, maybe not as harshly or black and white as you OP.
I would personally love the health/fitness gifts after baby is born but it’s hit or miss as some postpartum mothers could be shattered by this. It’s about situational and personal awareness. It seems you are lacking this.
I was still seeing this thing objectively and possibly an inadvertent AH move until you said you “babysit” YOUR OWN CHILD. I didn’t need to read anymore. I now understand your motivations and intentions perfectly. You need a reality check, OP. You are TA and regardless if you realize or not, a misogynist.
silvertouchappledust adds:
Husband body shaming wife who just had a baby, check. Husband offering to 'babysit' his own child, check. Husband thinks exercise equipment is an appropriate birthday gift, check. It's an asshole trifecta! YTA.
At one point, OP responded to all the hate with:
For the people calling me a Misogynist, I work 50-60 hours a week and I help with our son whenever I can. My wife also chooses to be a stay at home mom and refuses to put him in daycare. She is an amazing wife and mother and we rarely have problems/fights, I only wanted to help her a bit.
razzledazzles writes:
YTA DUDE. Man I wouldn't be surprised if the reason she was gaining weight was because of all the pressure he puts on her. It's clear right now losing weight is not her priority and she has other stuff going on he should help with, yet this dude is constantly checking up on her.
Probably would just put more stress on her causing her to stress eat which makes her gain weight which makes her feel bad about herself and just repeats in a vicious cycle.