Man tells GF to 'cover up' around workers, shocked when she replies, 'it's just help.'
When this man is concerned for his GF, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for telling my girlfriend to cover up her body when strangers enter the home?'
I am FULLY aware the title sounds sexist but hear me out, please. My girlfriend comes from a wealthy background and grew up with maids, chefs, chauffeurs etc. I was raised in a completely opposite environment and still adjusting to dating someone like her.
When we’re not with her parents, we spent a lot of time at one of her apartments. Here’s the issue: my gf likes to walk around home barely wearing anything which is fine (awesome even) BUT she does this even when the ‘help’ are around.
For example last month her family hired a new driver for her. He stopped by the apartment to introduce himself. She was only wearing underwear. Keep in mind, this is the FIRST time they’ve met in person. I felt awkward, he was visibly awkward and she didn’t give a shit at all. She was casually chatting to him while a scrolling away on her phone.
She does this all the time. She doesn’t think she needs to wear any decent amount of clothes at all when people that work for her are around. She will casually walk around wearing just a thong OR a tiny crop top (just a crop top, nothing else).
She even does this with complete strangers! One time she opened the door for the delivery guy wearing only a see through gown. You could see everything. Afterwards I talked to her about it and she was utterly confused as to why I felt uncomfortable. Then she laughed and told me to “stop being a jealous baby”. She even said that I’m unreasonable.
We had another discussion about this yesterday and I told her that she probably wouldn’t feel comfortable if I did the same. She said that she doesn’t understand why I care what her staff think and that it never even crossed her mind that this is inappropriate. She told me that she only does this in the comfort of her home and not in front of“actual people” i.e. people that don’t work for her.
She got kinda mad at me and vented to her friends. According to all of them, I’m “weird” for having a problem with this and an asshole for telling my GF to cover up. Somehow I’m the villain of this story. Am I really the AH?
Let's find out.
duecrytopgrapher writes:
NTA. You can tell the character of a person by how they treat people who are working for them or are serving them at an establishment. Good people are kind to everyone, not just people they consider 'worthy', equal or exceeding their social or economic status.
She honestly sounds like an awful person. If she wouldn't show up at the door mostly naked when a business colleague or somebody from Daddy's country club was dropping by, she shouldn't be doing it to anyone. You can do much better than her. Go find yourself someone who has more kindness and compassion than money. Money doesn't always last but a person's values tend to.
magushi writes:
Sweetheart, when he said theyr not 'people'...that was your cue. You will only get hurt by someone who finds some people human and others just a piece of furniture. Take it from someone who grew up wealthy to the point to have a maid run around me with an umbrella (for the sun) as a toddler and now has staff at home: her behavior is not ok.
I'm not talking about naked (I come from a medical home married into another one, we see people and organs and all sorts of fluids all the time), I'm talking about her disregard and dehuminized view of others fellow humans, that's scary AF. Not everyone is willing to see your naked body, the fact that they're staff doesn't make them plants who can't see of feel.
I hope by now you've broken up with this person, she sounds horrible and money is no excuse to be an AH, when you've been raised to acknowledge others, to work for your success and to understand you own your choices (daddy is not paying for tje outcomes), you become more human and she clearly has a lot to learn (ideally before she reproduces, I am already sorry for her offspring).
littlefeets writes:
She doesn’t view people that “serve” her as people. That’s why she doesn’t mind them seeing her naked. Because in her mind, it’s no different than a hairbrush seeing her naked. That’s troubling. That’s a red flag.