When this nephew is furious with his aunt and humiliates her publicly, he asks Reddit:
I (21M) was invited to a family gathering yesterday, to which I brought my boyfriend (22M) of around 8 months. Some of my family members are still lowkey homophobic and this includes my aunt (42F) from my mother's side.
She only knew that I'm gay and hasn't met my boyfriend till now, but when she saw him, she quickly grabbed me and took me into a corner to talk in private.
There, she told why the hell would I bring such an unholy and lifeless looking person here and that she's afraid he might be possessed and intending to harm our family. I told her that my boyfriend isn't possessed and that he only looks like that cause of he has albinism. She then asked me 'Oh, is this like, a STD for gay guys ?'.
I won't lie, I got pretty annoyed at how she formulated that question, but I still explained to her what albinism actually is, aka an genetic disorder where a person has less melanin than usual in their body, which makes them have white hair and very pale skin ( like my boyfriend ).
I explained to her that people are born with this disease, it's not contagious and it's not a STD. She seemed to understand, so I decided to drop the subject.
However, at dinner, she suggested ( in front of the entire family no less ) that we should join her church in order to 'wash our sins' and 'try to get to the right path' and then she turned to my boyfriend and said : 'However, I'm afraid that not even our church can cure your unholy STD'.
My boyfriend looked embarrassed ( and also confused ) and I just snapped at her and told her : 'I told you already, albinism isn't a STD and maybe you would've known that if just once in your life you would've opened a book other than the Bible'. Some of my family members started snickering, which made my aunt cry and quickly run away from the dinner, with my uncle following after her.
Me and my boyfriend got up and were on our way out ( as we didn't want to be part of this circus any longer ), but my mom stopped me and said that my comment was really out of line.
I pointed out to her that my aunt's homophobic behavior started all of this and while my mom said that while she was definitely in the wrong as well, my comment not only insulted her, but also insulted their religion and that we both owe each other an apology.
I wasn't in the mood to have yet another conversation with her and so I just decided to leave.
My boyfriend obviously isn't very keen to go to other of my family gatherings, especially cause now he's afraid that my family will keep assuming that he has a STD.
I'm still very mad with my aunt and I don't even want to speak with her, much less apologize to her, but I know my mom and her are really close and she would be upset if we don't end up making amends with each other.
AITA ? Should I just suck it up and apologize to my aunt and hope that she'll do do as well ?
petrichok writes:
NTA. Your aunt fucking suuucks. Although your mum is understandably pissed because your attack on your aunt did splash back at her.
Like, if you want to come off this as a saint, I would apologise to everyone EXCEPT your aunt specifically about the implication that she's homophobic because of her religion since clearly other 'good Christians' aren't homophobic...
and that you would apologise to her IF she apologises to you and your boyfriend about saying that his genetic condition is an STD, when it's straight up not the truth.
Good luck! I have deep sympathies with you having to navigate this bullshit as a fellow queer person with religious extended family.
thirtydown writes:
Nta alright so let’s take out the fact your bf has albinism, even if your bf had an std that she could somehow tell by looking at him, she already had a private conversation with you so I don’t understand why she felt the need to bring it up again but this time infront of everyone?
She literally started it. Had she not kept up with the whole “std” thing none of this would’ve happened. So you are definitely not the asshole and tbh I wouldn’t apologize.
You did nothing wrong if you can’t handle the heat stay out of the kitchen. She’s allowed to judge and berate your “lifestyle” so why can’t you defend not only yourself but your boyfriends too.