Man questions whether to spend money on wedding or sick sister's surgery.
When this man is concerned that wronged his sister, he asks Reddit:
'AITA Choosing To Spend Money On A Wedding Instead Of Helping My Sister Pay For A Medical Treatment?'
I (32m) got engaged to my wonderful wife 'Angel' (32f) back in 2019. We were supposed to get married in 2020 but for many tragic reasons it didn't happen.
We still moved in together with the plan to have the wedding in 2021-2022 but unfortunately my grandmother got sick and was most likely not going to make it.
I was her only grandson and first grandchild to get married and the idea of not being around long enough to see me get married broke her heart.
Despite how badly Angel wanted a fairytale type of wedding she opted to have a quick and very low maintenance wedding outside of the medical facility where my grandmother was staying at so she could see from the window.
My best friend/best man 'Jake' (31m) became ordained online. My parents and Angel's parents and sister were there. My grandmother was so delighted and we all had a lot of fun sitting in lawn chairs just talking with my grandmother for the next hour.
I want to make it very clear that this was ALL Angel's idea and I never pressured or even asked her to do this. I was more in the 'hoping my grandmother pulls through' camp, but my wife knew better as my grandma died a few weeks after and was my rock as I grieved.
Before and after I asked Angel if she was really okay with everything and she would always smile and say that she was fine and that being my wife and having a healthy and loving marriage was the ultimate prize. I never fully bought it because I know Angel her 2/10 top movies are The Wedding Planner and Monster-In Law. 3/5 if you want to count Mamma Mia.
During that summer while I was at my In-Laws place I over heard Angel admit that while she was glad to have been able to give my grandma her wish at seeing me get married a part of her will always be bummed out that her dream wedding will never be fulfilled, but she's made peace with it.
I was sad for her and decided to start secretly saving money and then once I had a certain amount, I plan to re-create my proposal to her but this time offer her the wedding she actually wanted. A wedding where everyone she wanted to attend but couldn't because of 2020 can come.
The only people who knew about what I was planning on doing was Jake and fiancé (who's idea this totally was) and my parents.
My sister 'Lucy' (29f) found out what I was planning for Angel and then tearfully confessed that she needed surgery.
I panicked at first but when she admitted that this surgery is to help her lose weight and for her mental health I refused to help pay and she called me heartless...
that Angel and I were already married so it didn't matter, that having a second wedding (especially within the first five years of marriage) was tacky, and that it could wait while Lucy's mental health needed help now.
I can't really talk to a lot of people in real life about this and I know there's going to be a bias with the few that I can ask so I wanted to come here and ask AITA?
Let's find out.
realstareyes writes:
NTA.You and your wife are your priority, which is fine. Your sister shouldn’t even have asked. She can either pay for it herself or not do the surgery. She isn’t entitled to anything and her comment was heartless.
babcock27 writes:
Generally, medical insurance, even Medicaid, will pay for weight loss surgery if it's required for health reasons. Sister saw $$$$$$$ and is trying to take it. Don't give her a penny. She can save for it. NTA
brunoscars writes:
NTA - simply put it’s your money and you can choose to spend it anyway you like. I don’t know your sister’s entire health situation but I see the way she asked as well as her reaction as quite manipulative.