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'AITA for signing up my GF for a social etiquette class before meeting my family?'

'AITA for signing up my GF for a social etiquette class before meeting my family?'


When this man is concerned about his girlfriend, he asks Reddit:

'AITA for signing up my girlfriend for a social etiquette class before meeting my family?'

Gf and I have been together for a little under 3 months and we agreed it’s time for her to meet my family.

For some context, I’m blessed and had a fortunate upbringing. My gf on the other hand faced some challenges in her life from a young age (particularly financial challenges).

She’s a beautiful, interesting person despite all of the hardships she faced. The only problem is that she lacks the manners that my family typically expects from someone I’m in a relationship with.

(My gf is the first less-fortunate woman I’m dating). For that reason I made the effort to prepare her for her first dinner with my family.

I got her signed up for an online social etiquette course and thought this was a good idea. However when I told her she was absolutely furious. She claimed that I’m “obviously embarrassed” to be with her and that I should just marry a “rich girl” instead.

She even accused me of being “just another white, privileged guy”. To make matters worse she said that it’s “racially insensitive” of me to feel the need to teach her how to behave. So am I the complete asshole here? Explanations are more than welcome. AITA?

Oh man, Reddit really tore OP to shreds here. Take a look.

allthemigraines writes:

Yes YTA. You asked for an explanation so: The point of deciding for your partner that they need to change what they act like is the AH part.

You didn't ask her if she'd like the class and you did it because you felt she wasn't going to fit in, aka 'isn't good enough' or yes you're embarrassed by her manners. You made a unilateral judgment and decided for her how she was to proceed. That's not ok no matter the financial situation.

You also speak about her in a way that's demeaning. She isn't a great person despite her upbringing. She is a great person. Nothing else needed mentioned. She's not a 'less fortunate' person, she's a person.

Money may by you things but it can also be lost, neither financial situation can be seen as completely fortunate or unfortunate.

It's just numbers on Bank accounts. What makes a person good, and their lives fortunate, is what they do with their lives and how they treat others. You definitely owe her an apology.

hemechua writes:

YTA. You've basically just told her she's embarrassing. If you're concerned about the way your family will react to her, maybe she shouldn't meet them.

It may be a better idea to talk to your family and tell them they need to get ready for a dose of reality, because an actual person is about to enter their ivory tower.

jadiejang writes:

OP, your job was to tell your gf that your parents are snooty and tend to judge people on their manners, and then ASK her how she wanted to deal with it. The likely answer would be something like 'HANDLE YOUR SNOOTY PARENTS, THEN!' which is the right answer.

It's not your gf's job to learn a type of etiquette specifically designed to exclude her. It's her job to love and support you; that's it. And it's your job to love and support her, which includes handling your snooty parents if they judge her for not having upper class manners. YTA.

Looks like OP is a MAJOR MAJOR AH. Would you break up with him if this happened??

Sources: Reddit
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