When this man insults a woman after SHE insults his GF, he asks Reddit:
I went on a dinner double date with my girlfriend, my girlfriend’s friend Amy, and Amy’s boyfriend. We’re all in our early 20s.
My girlfriend hangs out with Amy quite often. I see her from time to time, but I’ve never cared for her cheeky attitude. The tipping point was tonight.
Dinner was going alright until Amy’s boyfriend innocently commented on how little my girlfriend ate.
She usually gives me half her entrée. After that, Amy, who isn’t stick thin like my girlfriend, snidely remarked that my girlfriend wouldn’t need fake boobs if she ate like a real woman.
I loudly told her to watch her fat goddamn mouth and that her comment was both rude and unnecessary. Amy isn’t overweight by most standards, but that adjective slipped out because of what she said prior. Many people turned their eyes toward us.
My girlfriend and Amy’s boyfriend tried to quell the ruckus, but Amy got up and told me to have fun with my Barbie doll before she motioned Amy’s boyfriend to get up and leave with her. Don’t worry, you pay before you get your food at this restaurant.
My girlfriend and I talked about Amy. She kept saying that Amy and some of her friends make those comments all the time and they don’t mean them to be derogatory. I tried to convince my girlfriend that no friend would make those types of comments and she’s better off without someone like Amy in her life.
My girlfriend still thinks that Amy didn’t mean to hurt her with the “real woman” and “Barbie doll” comments and I didn’t read the room correctly.
She told me she feared Amy not wanting to be friends with her anymore after my creating a rift between them. I couldn’t get though to her no matter how much I tried. AITA?
As someone who used to be super thin I can confirm that people make these kind of comments all the time.
It's considered rude to comment on someone's body when they're fat, but perfectly normal when they are skinny - this is exactly what you have experienced here, the double standard.
I can also confirm that it is definitely damaging to your self image as a skinny girl to constantly hear these kinds of things.
Being too thin can be extremely unhealthy. When you identify as the skinny girl you often deliberately make choices to keep you skinny, because that's who you are.
Like only eating half your meals, only choosing healthy food etc. Most of the time the people affected don't necessarily realise what they're doing.
Some people take it too far and they become anorexic or bulimic. I have 2 sisters who have battled with eating disorders because of it. One is so bad she has ruined her teeth from vomiting (bulimic) and has to get regular IV nutrients just to stay alive.
I realise you were standing up for your girl, and kudos to you for that. If you had omitted the word fat from your insult I'd be all for you, but knowing how bad body image issues are for so many people I have to say ESH.
She shouldn't say what she said, but likely doesn't realise the impact of her statements. But on that same token, it's never ok to use language that makes someone feel bad about their body - fat or thin.
And by calling Amy fat, a girl who isn’t overweight but bigger than your girlfriend, you’re telling you girlfriend a healthy weight is fat to you.
Certainly inadvertently and not at all what you meant, but if she clings to this “skinny girl” imagine that may be what she heard. Especially if she’s defending Amy’s comment as innocuous.
I would be sure to try and explain your worry over WHY Amy’s comment was so rude and potentially insidious and upset you on her behalf, rather than defend your reaction.
She might be able to switch perspective and see the layers of your upset then.