Man upsets sister when he shares 'scary' test results. AITA? Sister says yes.
When this man feels guilty about what he did to his sister, he asks Reddit:
'AITA? My sister mad that I shared scary test results?'
Earlier this year I (M) got blood tested for the BRCA1 gene. I talked to a genetic counselor who told me to contact my siblings and share my results so they could make informed choices.
It was also all over the paperwork and questionnaires that having another blood relative with genetic testing could help determine my risk. My sister told me she didn’t want to know and I respected her wishes and didn’t share my results.
I just found out I have a congenital brain aneurysm. I wasn’t expecting to find anything at all, I just have bad migraines that led me to the ER a few months ago. While I’m still processing what this means for my career and life I’m overwhelmingly thankful we caught it before it ruptured. My first worry was of my siblings being at risk. I told my siblings about it and told them it’s genetic and they should get tested.
My sister instantly got angry at me saying she “told me she didn’t want to know that sh**.” I never brought up the BRCA testing again but I didn’t even consider this to be the same thing because I wasn’t testing for an aneurysm, I have one. I also know aneurysms can be super dangerous and unexpected but breast cancer generally comes on more slowly.
I was just instantly scared for my siblings and didn’t even consider it to be the same thing but now I’m worried I should’ve assumed she wouldn’t want to know. Should I not have shared what’s going on with me? I apologized to my sister and she hasn’t responded to me. AITA?
Let's find out.
hiddenrisk writes:
NTA. Knowing you have a life-threatening medical condition that could be genetic is absolutely different from testing to find out if you have a gene that has the potential to lead to a medical condition. She doesn’t want bad news, I get that, but this could save her life. That’s not something to keep to yourself.
interestingrip8 writes:
NTA and I'm so sorry you're experiencing this life altering health scare. Your sister sounds like she has a phobia of the unknown when it comes to health problems and/or mortality. You did not cross any logical boundaries by sharing your concerns for your siblings' health but unfortunately phobias defy logic.
You've apologized for what she perceives as overstepping her boundaries, which is very civil and thoughtful, but now you need to let this go and focus on taking care of yourself.
If she persists with this coldness then she is very selfish but you need to be positive and not let her negative energy affect you any more during this difficult journey. Your welfare is more important than social acceptance, even from your sister. Hopefully your family will bring her to her senses. Praying for you!
scarletzoe writes:
NTA , We had a similar issue with a genetic disorder that effects people of Celtic ancestry. My son found out he had it and his Dad, Brother and I got tested. We found out we all had it as well so we informed our families.
My Dad got tested and he had it but my siblings decided not to and that's fine but I had to tell them because they had a right to make a informed choice to get tested. She may be mad at you but if you had not told her and she ended up having one and god forbid it rupture you would never forgive yourself.