When this man is conflicted about his wedding party, he asks Reddit:
I (27m) am engaged to my fiance Elle (26f). We have been dating for 10 years and engaged for the last three (Covid engagement). Our wedding is planned for November of this year and our wedding party was chosen during the initial lockdown. I asked my two brothers to be my groomsmen and Elle asked her sister and her best friend.
I lost my mom at a young age and my dad remarried. Dad's wife was a widow and she had three kids when she married dad. A son who is a year younger than me and two daughter's who were 3 and 4 years younger than me. I was never very close to them and I count my siblings as just my brothers.
My stepsiblings are not really in my adult life. We see each other once a year and sometimes less than that. I don't have an issue with that. They will be invited to my wedding but they are not in the wedding. Honestly, it wouldn't upset me if they chose not to come.
My dad and stepmom were upset to learn none of my stepsiblings were given a place in the wedding party. My stepbrother not being a groomsman was especially upsetting because I am the groom and they believe I should want all three of them, because they see the four of us as four brothers, and believe I should want all my brothers there.
They have also mentioned since Elle is having a friend, we could have had an even wedding party if she had my stepsisters instead of her friend as bridesmaids.
I don't know how my stepsiblings feel because I do not talk to them. My dad asked me to reconsider the wedding party a couple of times. I always said no. My stepmom recently told me it is not too late and I could show a united front and be on the way to making us all closer if I include them.
She said we have known each other since childhood and have more than fifteen years of life as a family to want them included in my special moment. I said I didn't want to include them that way.
She told me I was behaving unforgivably for not making my stepsiblings part of my wedding party and she told me she hopes I regret it in years to come. AITA?
NTA- You will not regret keeping your step-siblings out of the wedding party. Your father and stepmother seem delusional. Maybe reach out to one of your step-siblings and “apologize” for not having them in the wedding party. Maybe they will be as confused by it as you are and get their mother to back off.
NTA! The wedding party are those special people in your life who have accepted your request to stand with you at your wedding. No one has any say on that except you and your fiancée. If your SM wants to see the four of you as brothers, then make sure you get a picture taken with them.
NTA. OP like you said they are not really in your adult life to warrant them to be apart of the wedding party, an invite should be good enough for them and to expect anymore someone who life they chose not to be apart of is ridicules.