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<p>When this woman is upset with her mother, she asks <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zzra0u/aita_for_calling_out_my_moms_constructive/" target="_blank">Reddit:</a></p><h2>&quot;AITA for calling out my mom&rsquo;s &ldquo;constructive criticism&rdquo; on New Year&rsquo;s Eve?&quot;</h2><blockquote> <p>I (23F) live in the US, and I visited my mom in SE Asia (Philippines) this month after we have not seen each other in 5 years due to my studies.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I meant to visit in 2020, but the pandemic made it unfeasible. I&rsquo;m also now working in my first job out of college, from which I used up all my PTO and personal holidays for this 3 week visit.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I was 240 pounds at 5&rsquo;9 this August, which my mom was aware of because I told her back then; she had asked me after I texted her that I booked a flight home for December.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I currently weigh 212 pounds. It&rsquo;s not amazing progress (an average of 5.6 lbs per month), but I&rsquo;m proud of my weight loss so far despite needing ~30 pounds more to lose.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>DURING the ride home after picking me up from the airport, she already asked me how much I weigh and her response was simply, &ldquo;That&rsquo;s it? Are you really going to the gym?&rdquo; (I do, 3 times a week).</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I was mildly upset by her response, but I let it go. That was 2 weeks ago on December 17th, and she has called me fat one way or another at least once a day like:asking me on the dining table how I got so fat when I eat so little.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>laughing at me and telling me that I have &ldquo;really gotten fat&rdquo; while I was laying in bed; reminding me three times (so far) that I need to hire a &ldquo;gym coach,&rdquo; despite telling her the first time around that I can&rsquo;t afford one and that I&rsquo;m satisfied with my progress...</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>and telling my aunt in front of me that I used to be handsome when I was a kid, but the &ldquo;fat changed my face.&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I remained passive in response to the aforementioned comments from my mom. I didn&rsquo;t want to start a fight on account that I was gonna leave soon. However, I lost my temper at lunch today.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I asked my little brother to grab the pitcher of water from the fridge, then my mom proceeded to tell him that &ldquo;[he] should let [me] stand up and get it [myself] for the exercise.&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I finally called out my mom in front of my two siblings that I&rsquo;m &ldquo;tired&rdquo; of her calling me fat every day for the past two weeks.&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>She asked &ldquo;how&rdquo; exactly she called me fat every day&mdash;see bullet points above. She insists that she was just joking and that it is constructive criticism; while I called her a &ldquo;bully.&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Then, she said, &ldquo;You need to fix your attitude and how you speak to me. I&rsquo;m sorry if you&rsquo;re offended.&rdquo; I told her that she shouldn&rsquo;t worry about my weight because &ldquo;I will not come back to ever see you again.&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p><br /> I walked out on her and we have not spoken to each other in hours. AITA?</p> </blockquote><h2>Let&#39;s find out.</h2><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Annii84/" target="_blank">annib84</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA. Sorry your mom treats you this way. Anyone can see this isn&rsquo;t constructive criticism and you don&rsquo;t have to listen to her insensitive and disrespectful comments.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Some moms need to learn that being someone&rsquo;s mother is not a pass to say whatever comes to their mind and disguise it as &ldquo;it&rsquo;s for your own good.&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>This here is a prime example of how parents can induce their children to get eating disorders. Take care of yourself, OP, don&rsquo;t let her derail you; you seem to be on the right path of where you want to be and you should be proud of your progress.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/tango421/" target="_blank">tango421</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA. I&rsquo;m almost twice your age and also here in the Philippines and I can tell you that is common as hell here. I don&rsquo;t tolerate it though. I&rsquo;m pretty low contact with some relatives so...</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;m not a medical practitioner myself but since I&rsquo;m on a weight loss journey (health scare), I&rsquo;m rather closely monitored and advised by professionals. I have a lot of tests late January.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>So, I can tell you with confidence that 5-6lbs per month for an adult female is a healthy and more importantly sustainable weight loss.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>If you have a good diet and are able to exercise 3-5 times a week with increments of at least 45mins, that is fantastic progress, so keep it up. You can say an internet stranger nearby said that.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I did lose more initially but that was due to medication and you don&rsquo;t want to go that route. Take care. Happy New Year!</p> </blockquote><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ashmirkier/" target="_blank">ashmerkier</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA OP, and I&#39;m sorry. I&#39;m a Filipino, and there&#39;s not a day I did not hate family gatherings because of all this &quot;constructive criticism&quot; bs they&#39;re pulling off when someone calls them out.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>You just did it right and you stood up for yourself, but I doubt she&#39;d change because of the so-called &quot;elders know better and shpuld be respected&quot; attitude.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Seriously, though I&#39;m not generalizing everyone, one&#39;s weight usually is one of the most common topics, followed by marriage, having a child, etc. in these households, and it&#39;s sickening.</p> </blockquote><h2>Looks like OP is NTA. Any advice for him?</h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman exposes mother on NYE in front of family, says 'what you're doing is abusive.'

When this woman is upset with her mother, she asks Reddit:&quot;AITA for calling out my mom&rsquo;s &ldquo;constructive criticism&rdquo; on New Year&rsquo;s Eve?&quot; I (23F) live in the US, and I visited my mom in SE Asia (Philippines) this month after we have not seen each other in 5 years due to my studies.  I meant to visit in 2020, but the pandemic made it unfeasible. I&rsquo;m also now working in my first job out of college, from which I used up all my PTO and personal holidays for this 3 week visit.  I was 240 pounds at 5&rsquo;9 this August, which my mom was aware of because I told her back then; she had asked me after I texted her that I booked a flight home for December.  I currently weigh 212 pounds. It&rsquo;s not amazing progress (an average of 5.6 lbs per month), but I&rsquo;m proud of my weight loss so far despite needing ~30 pounds more to lose.  DURING the ride home after picking me up from the airport, she already asked me how much I weigh and her response was simply, &ldquo;That&rsquo;s it? Are you really going to the gym?&rdquo; (I do, 3 times a week).  I was mildly upset by her response, but I let it go. That was 2 weeks ago on December 17th, and she has called me fat one way or another at least once a day like:asking me on the dining table how I got so fat when I eat so little.  laughing at me and telling me that I have &ldquo;really gotten fat&rdquo; while I was laying in bed; reminding me three times (so far) that I need to hire a &ldquo;gym coach,&rdquo; despite telling her the first time around that I can&rsquo;t afford one and that I&rsquo;m satisfied with my progress...  and telling my aunt in front of me that I used to be handsome when I was a kid, but the &ldquo;fat changed my face.&rdquo;  I remained passive in response to the aforementioned comments from my mom. I didn&rsquo;t want to start a fight on account that I was gonna leave soon. However, I lost my temper at lunch today.  I asked my little brother to grab the pitcher of water from the fridge, then my mom proceeded to tell him that &ldquo;[he] should let [me] stand up and get it [myself] for the exercise.&rdquo;  I finally called out my mom in front of my two siblings that I&rsquo;m &ldquo;tired&rdquo; of her calling me fat every day for the past two weeks.&rdquo;  She asked &ldquo;how&rdquo; exactly she called me fat every day&mdash;see bullet points above. She insists that she was just joking and that it is constructive criticism; while I called her a &ldquo;bully.&rdquo;  Then, she said, &ldquo;You need to fix your attitude and how you speak to me. I&rsquo;m sorry if you&rsquo;re offended.&rdquo; I told her that she shouldn&rsquo;t worry about my weight because &ldquo;I will not come back to ever see you again.&rdquo;   I walked out on her and we have not spoken to each other in hours. AITA? Let&#39;s find out.annib84 writes: NTA. Sorry your mom treats you this way. Anyone can see this isn&rsquo;t constructive criticism and you don&rsquo;t have to listen to her insensitive and disrespectful comments.  Some moms need to learn that being someone&rsquo;s mother is not a pass to say whatever comes to their mind and disguise it as &ldquo;it&rsquo;s for your own good.&rdquo;  This here is a prime example of how parents can induce their children to get eating disorders. Take care of yourself, OP, don&rsquo;t let her derail you; you seem to be on the right path of where you want to be and you should be proud of your progress. tango421 writes: NTA. I&rsquo;m almost twice your age and also here in the Philippines and I can tell you that is common as hell here. I don&rsquo;t tolerate it though. I&rsquo;m pretty low contact with some relatives so...  I&rsquo;m not a medical practitioner myself but since I&rsquo;m on a weight loss journey (health scare), I&rsquo;m rather closely monitored and advised by professionals. I have a lot of tests late January.  So, I can tell you with confidence that 5-6lbs per month for an adult female is a healthy and more importantly sustainable weight loss.  If you have a good diet and are able to exercise 3-5 times a week with increments of at least 45mins, that is fantastic progress, so keep it up. You can say an internet stranger nearby said that.  I did lose more initially but that was due to medication and you don&rsquo;t want to go that route. Take care. Happy New Year! ashmerkier writes: NTA OP, and I&#39;m sorry. I&#39;m a Filipino, and there&#39;s not a day I did not hate family gatherings because of all this &quot;constructive criticism&quot; bs they&#39;re pulling off when someone calls them out.  You just did it right and you stood up for yourself, but I doubt she&#39;d change because of the so-called &quot;elders know better and shpuld be respected&quot; attitude.  Seriously, though I&#39;m not generalizing everyone, one&#39;s weight usually is one of the most common topics, followed by marriage, having a child, etc. in these households, and it&#39;s sickening. Looks like OP is NTA. Any advice for him?

When this woman is upset with her mother, she asks Reddit:  &quot;AITA for calling out my mom&rsquo;s &ldquo;constructive criticism&rdquo; on New Year&rsquo;s Eve?&quot;   I (23F) live in the US, and I visited my mom in SE Asia...