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Mom won't let daughter move back home, forces her into 'sketchy' living situation.

Mom won't let daughter move back home, forces her into 'sketchy' living situation.


When this mom is torn about her daughter, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for not letting our daughter move back home?'

My husband and I have 3 children (25f)(16m)(13f). Our oldest moved out 3 years ago with her boyfriend, and got an appartment.

They were together 4 years before that, so it wasn't like she ran off with some guy she just met. We supported her decision, she was old enough and working full time.

The issue is rent in our area has more than doubled on average since. Their landlord raised the rent 40% in the span of 3 months, and they couldn't afford to stay there anymore.

The issue is they weren't exactly swimming in cash before that, they don't really have enough for first last and security with the market, not that there's much to but anyway in their price range.

Their plan was to move in with her boyfriends parents for a few months while they figured stuff out and saved up, but they won't let her come with.

So they proposed an idea, she'd move back in with us, him with his parents, and they'd save up and be gone in 6 months tops.

The issue is me and my husband don't feel that's appropriate. She's an adult now, and she needs to learn to take care of herself, not relying on handouts from her parents.

She offered to pay rent, but we would only do that if she agreed to pay the market average plus her share of utilities, which would mean she couldn't save up like she wants to.

Because we aren't doing that, she's been force to share a 2 bed appartment with 6 other people, some of whom she finds 'sketchy'. I feel for her, but I still think it's her responsibility. At this point she doesn't call much anymore and I'm worried this may have impacted our relationship. AITA?

Let's find out.

damngoodowls writes:

YTA. Seriously? Your daughter is an adult, but she's still your daughter? She's not relying on handouts. She's offered to pay rent. You're really gonna charge her the market average to live at home? She even gave you a timeline. I think you're being unreasonable.

You completely acknowledge that she was screwed over, but yet you're willing to let her struggle when you presumably have the space?

There's wanting for her to learn to be an adult, and there's being unreasonable jerks.

essress writes:

YTA. She's sharing a 2 bed apartment with 6 strangers? How the hell does that work?You think you're teaching her a life lesson. What you're actually doing is abandoning your child and exposing her to her to harm. Worst parent ever.

lillith33 writes:

I agree. OP clearly realizes that cost of living is out of control right now. This has nothing to do with her daughter not being responsible! I understand it’s not a long term solution but it sounds like the daughter had a plan to move back out fairly quickly.

Hell I moved back in with my parents when we were searching for a house to buy because our landlords decided to move back into the condo we were renting at the time.

If my parents had refused we would have had to find somewhere to live for 3 months while we were house hunting. But because they allowed us to move in, we were able to save up some money before becoming home owners. That’s what good parents do! OP- YTA

Looks like OP is TA. Any suggestions for her on how she can repair the damage?

Sources: Reddit
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