Young single mom gets scolded at PTA meeting; is told 'you can't dress like this.'
When this woman is ashamed at the PTA, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for showing up to a PTA meeting in a dress (23F)?'
Alright so you need some backstory to understand this. When I was 10 my mother remarried and had two more kids, 9 months apart, this is (fake names) Thor and Loki (currently 13M and 14M).
At 17 I enlisted and on boot leave (+RA) got full Legal Custody of my little brothers, so for the past 5.5 years they've been moving around with me in the military, (though again, I've been taking care of them, like changing diapers, testing bottles, taking care, since they were +-6 months.)
So recently I got a really good job (as was my plan when I got out of the military) and the boys and I live in a 3bd/2ba apartment in a really nice part of town. I recently enrolled them into a bougie private school so I can ensure that if they want they can get scholarships for college and whatnot.
Now this private school has the parents really involved. So I spaced that the boys school had a PTA function / Parent teacher conferences after work this day. I was still on time but I showed up in my work clothes.
(Sidenote I'm quite thin if that matters) A dress that was not low cut minimal makeup, and stockings, (thigh highs but no one could see them anyway) and small heels. Now I'm sort of tall and this dress falls about 2.5 inches above my knee, which I guess might be short?
Anyway I noticed some of the parents looking at me so I went over to say hi, and started chatting and a couple of the guys were also Prior military so we were joking around and hitting it off when some of the moms pulled me aside and snidely informed me my attire was inappropriate for the event.
Now I disagreed and went back to chatting with some folks when I saw my little brothers favorite teacher (28M, Very Attractive) and went over to chat with him. Now I politely asked him if he thought my attire was appropriate and he said I looked 'both appropriate and pretty'.
But the group of women who pulled me aside have been spreading rumors that I was TA for 'bringing down the class of the school' and 'dressing like a prostitute in the school' so am I TA for continuing to wear dresses to PTA functions?
Let's find out.
catharsis80 writes:
NTA, they sound jealous of a younger and presumably more attractive woman. They also may have felt threatened because you were getting along with the men, some women hate other women who get along better with men because they think they're going to 'steal' them.
It's also possible they are making judgements based on your young age and not maybe realizing the students involved are your brothers and not your biological children?
So maybe thinking you were a very young teen mom (not that there's anything wrong with that either, but in a snobby private school setting they may use that as an excuse to call someone 'lower class')?
lulubudu writes:
NTA at all and even before I saw the example dress I already knew that. They’re jealous, you’re probably pretty, you’re young, and they feel threatened. I think you should mention the dynamics to someone in charge because you don’t need to deal with that.
WTH do they mean by “bringing down the class”? Are they saying you’re trashy? Are they implying you’re an escort?
That’s super disrespectful. Like seriously, this could lead to some bullying on your brothers; kids repeat what they hear. Yeah, nip this in the bud before it starts to grow and have a negative effect and becomes more than just petty remarks.
mf876 writes:
NTA. This whole story made me chuckle. You are definitely not the A here. You got a really good job, so I assume your work clothes are somewhat similar to what women your age wear at my company. Look, if it's appropriate enough for you to wear to a meeting with your CEO, it's appropriate to wear to a PTA meeting.