Mom uses 'very questionable' punishment tactic against teenage daughter.
When this mom is questioning her own parenting, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for making our daughter (17f) clean something intense?'
We recently got 2 horses. (F) My younger daughter (13f) wanted them as she's been learning to ride.
My older daughter (17f) was against them, she's much more 'princessy' and didn't want to deal with the mess and chores that come with horses, but we told her it wouldn't be something she'd have to deal with and that her younger sister promised to take care of all of it.
Well, recently the older daughter has been disrespectful at home and staying out too late, and her grades have been slipping.
We warned her to shape up, but last week when we heard that she'd been needlessly insulting to her younger sister while I was our running errands, I told her that she'd be cleaning out the stable each day for the next week as punishment, and that her sister would get a break.
She got really upset and offended, and said we promised she'd never have to go in there or have to scoop horse poop.
I said I promised it wouldn't be one of your chores, of course, but obviously a punishment is supposed to be something outside of your normal chores and something you won't like, and I thought it was perfectly fair here.
She's been doing it three days now but seems to be very resentful of our 'broken promise,' acting very disgusted, and keeps begging to get out of the rest of it. But I said I thought it's very fair and that she's overreacting. AITA?
Let's find out.
lonnielee77 writes:
YTA. You bought two horses for your younger daughter and promised the older daughter she wouldn’t have to be involved in their care.
You broke your promises. There were plenty of adequate and appropriate ‘punishments’ available you could have given your daughter for staying out late and letting her grades slip.
Are you deliberately trying to stir up resentment between the two sisters because this is how you get resentment between two sisters.
pretzelmama writes:
So you're making her clean up shit as a punishment? Yeah YTA.
You have deliberately chosen something you know she will hate, that's just spiteful. Punishment is revoking privileges or taking away electronics, maybe even grounding / loss of allowance. Not shovelling shit
spike2021 writes:
YTA - she is going to resent her sister more and trust your promises less. You should have kept your word and found an alternative punishment (which she deserves!).