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Mom shuts down daughter's 'gross fetish,' dad says, 'she's neurotypical, relax.'

Mom shuts down daughter's 'gross fetish,' dad says, 'she's neurotypical, relax.'

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When this mom is upset with her daughter, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for sending my daughter to her room because did her gross fetish thing at the dinner table?'

My daughter is 14 years old, I'll call her Rosie to maintain privacy. Shes the middle child of 4 kids, with my oldest sons being 16, 18, and youngest son is 10. She is my only daughter.

She has high functioning autism and is starting to model some of the boy's behaviors, and to the next level. She has some sort of a fart fetish.

She laughs at farts, looks up every fact on farting(including foods that trigger gas, etc.), watches fart pranks on her ipad out loud. All without any regard to the context of the situation. I wish I was joking.

I have taught her and our sons table manners. I've been teaching them and reinforcing them since they were little.

They were told to say excuse me when they belch. cover their mouth when they cough and sneeze. Close their mouth when they eat. Very basic table manners. Some of these things I tell her each time it's like I told her the first time.

Their grandparents, aunt and uncle and their younger cousins were invited over to our thanksgiving dinner. I set expectations with the entire family to be on their best behavior, and leave topics regarding bodily functions out of the dinner table.

Dinner underway, she gulped down a cup of lemonade and then proceeded to belch a few times, which the family turned to gaze at her.

I reminded her to say excuse me and hold in her burps. In the middle of a discussion with the rest of the family. She passed gas and giggled. The entire family looked at her direction with stern gazes, and some jaw drops.

It was after the 3rd time, I threw my hands and shook my head at her, telling her to go to her room and that her actions were disgusting, rude and not ladylike and she needs to excuse herself to do that. Her father smirked a little and some of the little ones giggled which I told them 'enough. It's not funny.'

My daughter apologized and stated that she will be careful, which I then responded that she had the multiple times you belched, smacked during the entire dinner, and farted, she had more than enough time to correct herself.

This is unacceptable to be doing this behavior when people are having a meal and I raised her better than this and we will have this conversation later and for now go to her room. She went to her room in tears.

After a conversation with my daughter with the behaviors, she apologized again and said that she was trying to make everyone laugh and didnt expect people to get mad. I did remind her that it was actually rude, and she is expected to not do that again with company over.

After a conversation with my husband who passes gas very casually(thankfully doesnt do it with company over), he said that I was being too harsh on her and it was just a fart, which I did call him out on him smirking at dinner and stated that she modeled her behavior from him.

A part of me agreed with him, and thought I was too harsh on her and made a big deal over nothing. Was I being too hard on her reddit? AITA?

Let's find out.

kibufox writes:

NTA. You need to make sure she understands that there is a time, and place for everything; and very often what she finds hilarious, may be very offensive for someone else.

With your husband giving you crap for it, I'd say turn it back on him. Ask him how he'd feel if he was at his parents' funerals and someone rudely farted in an effort to be funny?

I know that's a harsh way to put it, but it seems part of the issue is your husband doesn't seem to grasp how offensive that behavior can be.

ignoringthekids writes:

I would encourage OP to dig deeper here as well. Why was she trying to make everyone laugh? Being autistic can make large social gatherings harder and sometimes trying to get everyone to laugh is a way of feeling accepted or keeping them from laughing at you for other reasons.

Also impulsivity often comes hand in hand with being autistic so even if she knows something in the moment the impulsive part of her brain will totally over rule that part and she literally can not remember things she otherwise knows.

I also think OP was embarrassed herself and lashed out some what. Hopefully out of the moment OP can help daughter game plan some ways to to feel more comfortable next time.

It's really hard being autistic and trying to figure out what is appropriate and what is not, especially because social rules can be very fluid and subject to change due to the particular current social dynamic.

birdnumbers writes:

Never trust a fart.

OP is NTA, but what should these parents do about the situation?

Sources: Reddit
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