When this man is upset with his family, he asks Reddit:
My parents were very busy. (M) I have 6 siblings. I am second oldest. Me and my older brother have no contact for about 8 years. He lived in another country with his wife and 5 year old son.
This year they moved back to our country. They always spent Christmas with his wife's parents and then came to our parents the next day without me present.
A couple of years back I had a tragedy and got a lot for compensation. I invested and am now living very good from passive income. For the last 3 years I buy all the gifts for Christmas for my nephews and nieces.
My siblings give me their letters for Santa and I go all out. I absolutely love seeing them when they open the gifts.
I already got all the letters this year and have all the gifts ready. But then last week my mother wanted to give me another letter. She said its from my nephew from my oldest brother.
I was surprised, but then told her that I wont buy anything for him. I dont even know him and I am not prepared to spend that much on stranger kid. My parents then told me that we cant single him out.
That he would be very sad seeing other kids opening gifts and him not getting anything.
I told them they can buy the gifts, and maybe my siblings will chip in. My mother started crying that they cant match my gifts and begged me to reconsider. I refused.
I am hurt even because I just found out that my brothers family will be with us for Christmas.
Now they are text bombing me that I'm ruining Christmas. My partner said that maybe we should buy gifts for my nephew. That he is innocent and one more smile wont hurt.AITA if I refuse?
neeknits asks the question we all have:
Why have you not had contact with your brother? Because of circumstances or for reasons? If the first, it’s entirely unreasonable to treat the kid differently from his cousins. If the second, don’t go, nor give the cousins their presents with that child present.
Only an AH splurges on a bunch of kids leaving one out.
happy-uncle (OP) responds with this SHOCKING REVEAL:
Well, my brother kind of found me and his ex-fiance in bed together. But it wasnt how it looked like. We all drank all day and then went to sleep. We were wasted. At some point his fiance went to the bathroom and then missed the room when she came back.
My room was next to his so it was honest mistake. I was wasted too so i didnt notice her in bed. He found us and raised all hell. He didn't listen to reason. I came out after my accident. He tried to reach out, but the damage was done.
He destroyed my and ex-fiance's social life and I will never forgive him for that.
Wow, okay OP. After this, the comments go off the rails.
Based on OPs comments I'm going to say NTA. OP spends 1-2k per kid. That's a lot of money to spend on a kid you don't know and have no intention of knowing.
And it sounds like OPs parents promised the brother OP would buy their kid an expensive gift without checking with OP first. That's an AH move.
I also understand why OP doesn't want to see his brother.
In another comment, OP explained the brother found his ex-fiancée with OP in bed because she was drunk and went into the wrong bedroom and destroyed OP's and OP's ex-fiancée's social life.
OP came out after their accident and brother tried to reach out but I understand why it's too little too late and OP isn't ready or obligated quite frankly.