Woman uses daughter to 'flaunt her wealth,' niece says, 'you're humiliating yourself.'
When this woman is upset with her sister and niece, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for 'flaunting ' my wealth in front of my niece?'
To provide some context to you guys my (40F) husband (40M) and I have two children together. This has to do with my oldest child 'Maria' (18F). My husband and I are very much upper middle class and live a very comfortable life.
Still this being said we both agreed that we don't want our children to grow up not knowing what hard work is.
Both my children have part time jobs, if they want something they need to save up their money to get it as this way they would appreciate it more.
Maria has been doing amazing in school lately. She just got accepted into her dream university to study computer science, just like her father and I studied.
She is currently working part time. When she was 17 she bought her first car with the money she saved from her part time job, she pays her own insurance and everything. She's very independent and never asks my husband and I for anything, so we wanted to do something nice for her.
She mentioned to my a while ago that she really wanted this bag and was planning to save up for it.
The bag goes for around $2000usd. Knowing this my husband and I decided to surprise her with it as an early graduation gift. She was very, very grateful for the bag.
Last weekend we went to my FIL's birthday dinner at his house. Maria wore her bag, we didn't think anything of it. My SIL and niece (also 18F) attended as well.
I all of a sudden hear a bunch of shouting from upstairs so I go upstairs to see what's wrong. My MIL and SIL follow me. Maria is standing outside of the bathroom clearly upset. My niece had taken the bag from where we leave our jackets and bags and Maria realized she locked herself in the bathroom.
SIL tells Maria to stop overacting and wait for niece to come out. I tell SIL to tell her child to open the door and give Maria her bag back. SIL refuses and doesn't see the big deal.
I call my husband, he starts having a go at my SIL after he finds out what's going on and grabs something to pick the lock on the door with.
We get the door open and my niece is refusing to give the bag back because 'she wants it'. My husband tells her to hand it over twice, she refuses, so he grabs it from her with force.
SIL starts losing her shit saying 'do not snatch thing's from my daughter' etc etc. I tell her to piss off and get her daughter under control.
She calls me an AH for letting my daughter 'flaunt' her designer bag in front of her daughter. My MIL took SIL's side and said that it was inconsiderate of Maria to bring the bag here, when my niece doesn't have one to relate to Maria with.
I called them all unhinged and my husband and I left. MIL and SIL have been contacting my husband demanding that WE apologize, and that if Maria wants to wear expensive stuff around my niece, to make sure we have one of whatever that is for my niece as well since we're 'so well off'. AITA?
Let's find out.
okcontext writes:
NTA. These people are delusional! What did she think was going to happen? They'd just give up and let her keep the bag? Seriously, WTF?
Also, the niece is in for a rude awakening if she goes to college. There will be well-off people around her who have designer things and she won't be able to just steal them because she 'wants it.'
doiwnatto writes:
NTA. 1. An 18 year old who grabs a bag, that doesn't belong to her and locks herself in the bathroom because she refuses to give it back...
2 SIL insisting that if Maria wants to wear expensive stuff around her daughter (which in fact she didn't, SIL's daughter took the bag from were the jackets and coats were left upon arriving), OP needs to make sure she has one of whatever that is for her niece as well
3 MIL and SIL are demanding apologies because basically OP & husband rewarded their hardworking and independent daughter with a gift
Obviously MIL and SIL do not teach the some values to SIL's daughter as OP and her husband do to theirs...
neoncats writes:
NTA - I’d expect an out of control, poorly parented 8-year-old to lock themselves in the bathroom over a toy they didn’t have. An 18-year-old pulling that kind of stunt? That is crazy.
The only thing I would have done differently is threatened to call the police rather than physically taking the bag back, because you are right, the behavior is unhinged, but it wasn’t worth your husband getting into a physical altercation over it.
If he had accidentally hurt the niece trying to get the bag back, I wouldn’t be surprised if they would have tried to sue your family, especially since they seem to think they are entitled to your money.