When this woman is wary of bringing her BIL to her new year's party, she asks Reddit:
For context, my family hosts a new years party every year, myself (22M) and my 3 siblings alternate every year for who hosts the party. This year is my first year hosting, in a small-ish house that my girlfriend and I started renting at the start of this year.
Last year, my sister's husband Brad, who usually drinks pretty heavily at these sorts of things, got so drunk that he sh** himself before midnight and I had to spend my New years helping my sister clean up the apartment and bring her husband home.
Because of this incident, I decided that I didn't want him coming and ruining the party. I still invited my sister, because as a family tradition I think it's unfair to allow her not to attend.
When I told her this, she got really upset at me for ostracizing her husband for one accident he had and told me that it was really hurtful that I was trying to exclude him from our family get-together.
She told my brother who also got upset at me, and threatened not to come if I refused to invite Brad. I think I'm being perfectly reasonable given I want to have a fun night that isn't going to be ruined by one person over drinking. AITA here?
grouchybluejay98 writes:
YTA. I agree with your sister. If you weren’t willing to host the whole family you shouldn’t have agreed to host the party. You could tell your sister that if he starts getting unmanageable she should take him home.
But not letting him come at all and have a chance to redeem himself is too severe. Did you really think your sister would come without him? If you don’t change your mind you may be celebrating alone.
phishfinder writes:
NTA. Your sister married a guy who gets so drunk he sh**s himself? F that, f them. Find a new tradition and hang out with people who don’t sh** themselves and people who don’t think that isn’t a big deal.
Give the guy a chance to redeem himself? Why? So he can projectile vomit all over your apartment? Maybe give him a chance to cost you your security deposit.
If you were in kindergarten and someone sh** themselves at a party, you give them a second chance. A grown adult gets so drunk they sh** themselves, that’s someone you never have in your home again and feel good about that decision. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
therealgrumpyumpy writes:
NTA. In over 40 years, I’ve never once been so drunk that I shi** myself. And I have IBS so shi**g myself is almost always a possibility drunk or not.
neirishguy76 writes:
YTA. I don't disagree with you for not wanting Brad to attend but did you really expect your sister to attend without her husband? You're essentially uninviting your sister because her husband fucked up last year.
The fact that you unilaterally decided to uninvite your sister is going to have consequences. Did you have a conversation with your sister asking if Brad's drinking habits have changed or did you just tell her that he's out? Brad's behavior isn't excusable and neither is yours.