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Woman has PTSD from emergency c-section, husband says, 'don't take it out on me.'

Woman has PTSD from emergency c-section, husband says, 'don't take it out on me.'


When this wife is angry at her husband, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for venting out all my emotions (anger, grief etc) on my husband during postpartum?'

For context, I was induced with labor for 42 hours. The fetal heart rate started to decline which is why the doctors decided to go for an emergency c-sec.

After the procedure, I had lots of pain and numbness at the same time, and have been extremely irritable. I probably have postpartum and PTSD.

Firstly, that I wasn't able to go through with it naturally (which I really really wanted) and secondly from all the tubes connected inside me, that I don't get to see the baby first, that I have to piss in a bag and shit in front of people, that I have no control over my limbs etc.

Yet, after all this my husband gets to see the baby first, I'm just super annoyed from everything & my most basic need is venting out. I'v explained that to my husband and been doing it for last 3-4 days but today he gave me a shut-up call & said I was being inconsiderate.

Although it was in a calm tone but that was it and then followed silent treatment. And I fking love & hate him right now. He knows what we go through during this time.

Have I been an asshole to him behaving this way? Can he not just have the patience with me during this time?

He hasn't had a proper sleep for past 4-5 days, he's been doing most of paperwork and working off hours because its his closing (end of financial year). He's been taking me to the washroom too and changing me, looking after me basically.

I know I am a mess right now but I can't help how I feel, its just there and I need someone to listen to me cursing, talking trash etc. I just need someone who listens from ear, throws out the other.

I have also been through hell, not had a proper sleep since being induced. I am a first time mom, I don't know many things just like him. Only part I do right now is changing diapers and feeding. AITA here?

Let's find out.

primarycriticism99 writes:

Soft YTA. There's only so much he can take. His kid almost died. His wife is a mess and had a rough delivery. He still has to work. Probably also has to deal with family members calling. Who does he talk to ?

nannyoggs writes:

A lot of people don't realise it, but partners witnessing a traumatic birth are at risk of PTSD, as is the person actually giving birth.

The birth partner will experience moments of feeling out of control during a life threatening situation. No, it's not physically as bad as actually being operated on in an emegency, but it's still highly stressful and difficult to deal with emotionally.

There may have been a point where OPs husband genuinely believed that he was going to be holding a double funeral for both his wife and his child. That's scary and traumatising. I understand OP needs to rant, but she needs to understand that her husband needs and deserves grace too.

swissswissbaby writes:

You’re going through a lot, but so is he. You both need to be partners now. This is one of many things that will not go your way that you will need to process.

Find someone you can talk to so you can work together with him. You both will snap at each other and need to be quick to forgive and treat each other with empathy.

I had a therapist lined up after my daughter was born (27 hours plus c section too), and it helped with the transition, trauma and emotional release.

The first month is just trying to survive with a newborn, recover from major surgery, and dealing with baby blues. Call in all the help and favors you can. Gentle YTA, but recognize this as the warning sign you guys need more help right now.

Well, this is a complex situation. Is OP TA? Should we cut her some slack? What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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