'AITA for refusing to let my brother be part of the 'family business'?'
"AITA for refusing to let my brother be part of the 'family business'?"
First some important info: I(44M) have a younger brother (41M), and we are the only children. Also we are not from the US or any western country, so please excuse any errors.
My father passed away almost 10 years ago, since our mother was also dead, we divided his estate equally. His estate was a farm of 12hectares (30acres), back then it had a house, a barn, a pond, wheat fields an olive fields.
Us both were working office jobs in the city and did not want to be farmers. But after my dad died, my wife convinced me to quit, buy out my brother and start a business with her (she had degrees in business and hospitality, I was working in accounting). And that's what I did. I bought out my brother at market price.
After that my wife and I transformed the farm: got government subsidies to make our farm more sustainable, transformed the area by the pond into a garden and romantic strolling route and a fishing spot...
the closest farm plots were made into a pedagogic farm and some made available to guests to rent, built small houses, built a stable and bought some horses...
We made it into a retreat where you can either spend the day, act as a farmer and have some authentic food, or rent a cabin and try farm life. The rest of the farm was left to farm hands.
Since we are barely 2hrs outside city limits, it became a booming business, we are booked solid all year, we have schools coming for tours, activities every weekend, couples throwing their weddings here... And after the first 5 years, we were able to pay off our debt and are making great money.
My brother used his money to buy a house, 2 cars and on his children's schooling. And they are living well, I would say upper middle class by my country's standards. But nothing like me and my family.
Now he says that he wants in on the business, that what he was paid was not fair. I told him no, that he got what his land was worth back then. Now he is no longer talking with me, and he is the only family I have left. So AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
OP says his brother is "upper middle class ", so I think it's regret for missing out on the opportunity. If OP never told him he & his wife had big plans when they bought out the brother, I could see why he feels a little resentful. That's pure speculation. I asked about it elsewhere, so maybe OP will clarify. But, brother wasn't forced to sell.
farmer356768 OP:
I told him about our plans, but not in detail since we only had vague ideas then.
curiousgeorge6 writes:
NTA, he got market value for his half. He used it up, you invested your time and money and now you are getting your return on investment. No need to feel guilty.
annamaria9 writes:
NTA. If he had invested his half of the money into literally anything else, would he share the fruits of that investment with you? I don’t think so.
You had all the work transforming the place and you had all the risk of it not working too! Also it definitely sounds like you invested some of your own money too to make all that possible. He wants all the fruits of the labour without doing any of the labour.
I get that you don’t want to loose him, so maybe there is a calm way to talk about all of this? With a mediator present or something like that? He needs to understand that you invested the money and succeeded, but I mean you could have failed too, and if you did would he just give you money from his half?
centuriesago0 writes:
NTA. The only way I could side with your brother would be if you took advantage of his grieving and bought his share.
I do doubt this as a possibility considering it must have taken sometime for your wife to convince you to give up your career to suddenly become a farmer - also it's been 10 years and he hasn't mentioned any regret during that time?
I think it's clear your brother is having money troubles or perhaps a mid-life crisis. Either way he got a fair deal for his share. If he wants back in he can offer to repurchase his half.