Woman wants to 'ruin' brother's wedding when future SIL insults her teenage son.
When this woman feels offended by her SIL, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for refusing to tell my son something and potentially ruining my brother’s wedding?'
My brother’s getting married and asked if my twins (17f&m) could perform something.
My daughter’s in choir and son’s in a band so they’re both musically talented and they love their uncle to bits so they were over the moon and began planning something immediately.
Well a couple days ago I got a phone call from my future SIL. She was talking about how she wants her wedding to be perfect and have a very “delicate” vibe. In other words, “pure” and “angelic”.
Then she made a joke about how opposite my twins are. I laughed along because I really did not understand what she was implying.
She finally got to the point though and asked if my daughter could just do a solo instead of having my son join.
I asked her why and she awkwardly explained that she fit the themes of her wedding better.
“No offence of course, your son’s great... he’s just a bit much. Isn’t too pure and innocent either is he? Don’t want to give my parents the wrong impression.”
I mean... I suppose? He’s more into rock and stuff like that, his hair is messy and he dresses exactly the way you’re imagining but he’s not a bad kid.
And it’s not like he was going to play a crazy rock and roll song at the wedding either... and he wasn’t going to show up in baggy ripped jeans or whatever.
I told my future SIL that what she was requesting was really unfair and that my brother asked the both of them.
It would crush my son if he was asked to back out. I asked her if she would be willing to tell my son. She said no that she’s not his parent. I just told her that I’m not going to be the one to break my son’s heart.
She called me a difficult old woman (I’m only 5 years older than her LOL) who’s going to ruin her special day. She yelled at me some more about not taking responsibility as his parent before hanging up.
Her sister texted me some time later saying that my son’s a big boy and he’ll be fine. But they’re not the ones who’ve been listening to him talk about how excited he is to perform for his uncle (who he sees as his father figure).
AITA? I know that I should be the one to break it to him but what she’s requesting really is not fair. She should’ve at least discussed it with my brother before he put the idea in their heads.
Let's find out.
quinngood writes:
NTA. You need to talk to your brother about this asap; let him sort things out with his bride. Do not mention anything about the converstion with bridezilla to either of the twins.
If changes are called for, your brother should be the one to rescind the invitation to your children, not you. Good Luck.
thegreatmei writes:
This gross ass adult woman said that a 17 year old boy was not 'innocent' enough to fit her vibe. I literally gagged! Wtf is she talking about? INNOCENT ENOUGH?!
I agree that OP should talk to the brother and let him sort it with his future wife, but if I was OP, I'd keep that lady far away from my children in the future.
Never, ever any contact unsupervised by myself. It sounds to me like she's commenting about more than style choices, and that is just disturbing and disgusting.
She didn't mention concerns of the son being willing to wear formal attire or appropriate clothing. She didn't mention grungy or rock and roll STYLE clothes.
She emphasized 'angelic' and 'innocent', which sounds like it's about him personally...or even, more horrifying, how she views him sexually. It's beyond upsetting and inappropriate!
entropychaos writes:
Omg. I know it’s not my job to apologize for your future sil but I’m so sorry. This is horrendous.
My wedding was 22 years ago but I’d go back in time and have your kids perform at mine if I could…and I’d ask them each to dress as themselves for the performance (we had our attendants choose their own aesthetic). NTA!!!