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Woman excludes grieving brother to give him 'space,' family says, 'you're a disgrace.'

Woman excludes grieving brother to give him 'space,' family says, 'you're a disgrace.'


When this woman is feeling bad about her brother, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for uninviting my recently widowed brother to a family event?'

My F29 brother's wife passed away recently from cancer about 8 weeks ago. He isolated himself from everyone for 2 weeks. Mom and dad were so worried about him and so they started inviting him to family events at their house.

He agrees to come but then at some point, someone mentions his wife even just her name and he begins to sob. I'm not exaggerating... As a result, dinner get awkward, and whatever event is being hosted gets interrupted.

This happened 3 times already. Last weekend was my turn to host dinner. Ngl my husband and I were worried same thing will happen again. My husband said it'd be almost impossible that no one will mention my brother's wife at some point. So he suggested I let my brother sit this one out.

In other words, just let him stay home and get the space he needs. I considered the idea then called my brother and apologized to him for cancelling his invite. He wasn't happy about it which was surprising to me because I thought he was basically forced to attend those events.

My parents found out and went off on me calling my behavior disgraceful and saying that I was unsupportive and unfeeling to what my brother's going through to exclude him like that.

I explained why I thought this was the best option but they claimed that I took away the comfort and support that my brother gets from the people around him.

They said that I was selfish and have no regard for my brother's loss but I 100% do. My husband said that my parents obviously don't care about guests being uncomfortable watching my brother sob at every event and causing it to be cut short like that.

They're still pretty much mad at me and demanding I apologize to my brother because I hurt his feelings. AITA?

Let's find out.

howlingwinds87 writes:

YTA It's been 8 weeks. You and your husband are callous, selfish assholes. HIS WIFE DIED. Wtf is wrong with you two?

wildferalfun writes:

You and your husband are not just assholes, but whatever comes after that. YTA. His grief is going to be uncomfortable for people because its raw and real. He needs people to be able to sit with his discomfort to be supportive. Its been weeks, not years. You are so unsupportive and dismissive.

surewhateverusay9 writes:

YTA. 'AITA because I excluded my grieving brother from his only source of comfort because he cries like a baby when someone mentions his dead wife who passed a few weeks ago? I mean it's SO AWKWARD FOR US.' Fixed it for you.

Well, seems like OP and her husband are MAJOR AHs. What can they do to improve and help OP's brother?

Sources: Reddit
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