Stepmom criticizes bio mom's parenting. Gets called a 'selfish gold digger.'
When this stepmom is feeling awkward, she ask Reddit:
'AITA asking my stepdaughter's mom to pack her lunch?'
I have a 14 yo stepdaughter. I first met her when she was 10. We got along very well from the moment that we met and I love her just as much as I love my own daughter(2F). Eventhough her school provides lunch, the food is terrible so I pack her lunch everyday. It also helps us bond as she sometimes helps me cook for her lunch and we like to make and try new foods.
She spends one week with us and one week with her mom and recently she has been complaining that her mom forces her to eat the school's lunch. I tried talking to her mom and told her how much she hates the school lunch and suggested she should do what we do.
She suddenly got mad and started to angrily tell me that I have no idea how hard it is to be a single mom of 3 kids and that unlike me who am 'a gold digger who doesn't even work' she doesn't have extra time to spend on making lunch.
I got mad and told her that eventhough I have a toddler I manage to be a good mom to my stepdaughter so she needs to stop making excuses for being a shitty mom. She called me an asshole(and many other names) and ended the call.
I wasn't the affair partner they have been divorced for a year when I met my husband. No we don't have a huge age gap he is 41 and I'm 34. No I never say anything bad about her to my stepdaughter.
It's not my fault that she has decided to be a sh*** mom and drive her child away. She can't even spend an hour a day or even an hour a week with my stepdaughter. Of course my stepdaughter doesn't feel loved by her. Of course she'd rather be somewhere that everyone loves her and spends time with her. Nobody is asking her to pack lunch everyday but is it so hard to do it once a month just to make her child happy? AITA?
Let's find out.
roadgoddess writes:
YTA- and this is coming from someone who is a stepmom to an amazing teenage daughter. You do what you need to do in your house and she does what she needs to do in hers. It is not up to you to contact the mother about this, if something needs to be said it should be coming from your husband.
You are way overstepping. You obviously think you’re some kind of an angel here, but I don’t think you realize how manipulative kids could be at this age playing one set of parents off another.
materialproper writes:
Yes, YTA. First, not making her kid lunch when there is an option of a school lunch doesn't make her a shitty mom. Plus, the girl is 14 and old enough to make her own lunch, she does not need to be babied. Second, she works and has 3 kids.
Thinking that your situation with fewer kids and the luxury of staying at home is even remotely equivalent as a challenge shows that you are completely clueless. Third, it takes a heck of a lot of gall to tell a child's ACTUAL mom who is fully involved in her life that you are a better mom to her child than she is.
atmosphere544 writes:
I would say more ESH. Girl's mom shouldn't have called her a gold digger, and op shouldn't have called her a shitty mom. I know my coworker would be highly upset if her kid's stepmother called her, and basically told her how to parent her own child. It looks to me like she was reactive to op when she called, and op was reactive back.
I understand the game stuff, but at 14, depending on the birthday, child is either in middle school like mine, or 1st year of high-school. In my town a lot of middle school stuff is at 4pm.
If you work the usual 9/5 then you would miss it. If her boys stuff is usually on her off days, while the daughter's is not, then op may be getting a slightly unintentional bias from daughter's rants.Some kids like to rant about stuff, and it's great that daughter is comfortable enough with op to do this, but I think op is letting it color how she sees this woman.