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Teenage girl makes shocking confession about stepsister in family therapy.

Teenage girl makes shocking confession about stepsister in family therapy.

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When this teenage girl is conflicted about family therapy, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for saying what I really think in family therapy?'

I (15f) go to family therapy with my dad, my stepmom (who is mom to me but stepmom for the post) and my stepsister (16f). We are going to family therapy because my parents have been married since I was 3 and my stepsister has never accepted me as her family or her sibling and has been distant my whole life.

When I was a little kid I used to cry and be so hurt that she wouldn't play with me, that she denied knowing me or denied our relationship to others, I used to hate how she would tell me I wasn't her family and to stay out of her way.

It used to make me really sad too that her dad hated me. I remember a few instances where I saw him and he either glared at me, called me a brat or called me disgusting. He treated my stepmom terribly and I know my parents spent a lot of time in court and therapy trying to make the issues better.

My stepsisters dad died when she was 9 and I think it only made things worse. She had intensive therapy but still didn't want me as a sibling. It wasn't until last year I came to accept it.

But a couple of months ago my parents made the decision to try family therapy with the four of us to make an honest go of repairing the sibling relationship. I didn't think it was a good idea. But I said nothing for fear of upsetting my parents.

But even with my stepsister telling us all in therapy that she does not love or care about me or my dad, that she does not love or care about our half siblings, they still feel we can work on things.

The therapist asked me the other day about my feelings about what was being said. I had spoken before but never voiced that I didn't want to do family therapy.

This time I did. I told them I felt like it was a lost cause and that I didn't want to force my stepsister to love me when she doesn't want to love me, and doesn't want to be there, and has voiced it for most of our lives now, but especially in therapy.

My parents were upset that I called us a lost cause and that I didn't want to try and make family therapy work. They told me I should put the effort in because nothing will change if you don't try.

The therapist did speak to my parents privately after my confession but I don't know what she said. Just that my parents seemed so mad. AITA?

Let's find out.

balswingbatwick writes:

NTA. Going out on a limb here to assume the therapist told your parents they can't force a relationship, especially after this long. And you have every right to feel the way you do, and i think you're handling it very maturely.

dwottw writes:

NTA. The first thing I learnt in counselling is that it is useless unless the person being counselled actually wants to change. Your parents have to understand this.

Your stepsister obviously does not want to change so the therapy will be useless. She will never see it from her parents point of view, the therapy should be cancelled until she actually wants to change.

passingofthecircus writes:

NTA — family therapy is supposed to be a safe space. Your parents were out of line and projecting because you said repairing the relationship with your SIBLING is a lost cause, not that the family is.

And frankly for 13 years your stepsister has done nothing to indicate there is hope.

Your parents have a right to feel hurt but to put the onus on you for voicing your truth in the safety of a session is wrong.

During next session bring this up as an opportunity to work through the communication and anger with your parents and enlist the therapist as an ally to the cause of safe and fair fighting.

Looks like OP is NTA. Any advice for her going forward?

Sources: Reddit
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