Surrogate won't let mom-to-be touch pregnant belly; mom says, 'it's my baby so I will.'
When this surrogate wants to set a boundary, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for not letting the surrogate family touch my stomach and feel the baby move?'
So I (24f) am currently 6 months pregnant as a surrogate for a family. Everything has been smooth sailing for the most part throughout this process other than one thing.
Even when I was pregnant with my daughter I could not stand people touching my stomach. I don’t understand the obsession with people touching pregnant bellies but it bothers me when people try to do it.
Anyways the family I’m surrogating for has asked multiple times if they can touch my stomach or rub it and feel the baby move and kick. The wife stating that she’s always wanted to experience feeling the kicking and moving baby.
Now for context she can fully have children of her own this surrogacy is a choice they made so as not to interfere with her career by being pregnant.
She has a physically demanding job and doesn’t want to risk anything happening to the baby or her career. (She’s a personal trainer) They have been constantly asking me to touch my stomach and I always politely decline as it is uncomfortable for me.
Well while me and wife were at a baby appointment last week she reached over and rubbed my stomach while talking to the doctor. I kindly asked her to stop touching my stomach and she snapped at me and said I was ruining the experience for her and it’s her baby she should be able to feel her kick.
I snapped back and said that it may be her baby but it’s my body and that if she really wanted to feel her baby kick she should’ve gotten pregnant herself.
I’ve gotten calls from her and her husband calling me an AH for yelling at her for binding with her child. My friends and parents are split on whether I’m an AH or not since it is their baby. So Reddit AITA?
Let's find out.
holidaycabinet writes:
It’s harsh, but it’s not like OP said that to someone who couldn’t get pregnant. She said it to someone who could, but chose not to.
Which is of course valid because it’s her body— but if your choice involves another person getting pregnant for you, then you have to respect their boundaries. So OP is firmly NTA.
(And if she’d said it to someone who was infertile it would just be ESH, not being able to get pregnant isn’t a reason to think you have control over someone else’s body but in that case the person deserves more tact than someone who just decided she didn’t want to get pregnant and doesn’t like the consequences of that choice)
satinalittleprincess writes:
Yup. NTA, OP. If the red flags everywhere mother to be wants to be able to feel the kid move, she can carry it in her own damned body. You being her surrogate doesn’t give her the right to touch you without your consent.
And frankly, that goes regardless of whether red flags everywhere mother to be is able to carry a pregnancy or not. It’s your body, not hers.