'WIBTA if I didn't make fruit preserves for my BIL because last Christmas he called my gifts tacky?'
"WIBTA if I didn't make fruit preserves for my BIL because last Christmas he called my gifts tacky?"
For the past 3 Christmases, I (F) always give everyone fruit preserves. I make homemade marmalade and jam of all kinds, it's one of my hobbies and I even sell them online. I try to only give people one's that are made from fruits that they like. I only give them to adults I get the children different things.
Last year, my sister got engaged and married to a man, 'Kevin'. Last Christmas, Kevin complained when I gave him and my sister a box of jars of different kinds of fruit preserves for Christmas.
He said that it is tacky and trashy for me to give them as a gift in front of the whole family. It was very embarrassing. He complained in front of the whole family. He complained about the gift itself.
However he still ate them ones, and my sister even mentioned to me that he really likes my jam and that it's better than store ones. I'm wondering if I would be the asshole if I didn't give Kevin any fruit preserves for Christmas this year because he complained about them last year.
I think it might be petty or childish for me to do that but I really do not want to hear him complain about it again. AITA?
Let's find out.
Might be better to get him a generic store bought item that has no real thought behind it. I usually make gifts for gifting occasions. My BIL's girlfriend said that just for once she'd like something that came from a store so that's what I started doing. I've actually gotten my work in galleries now but still give her 1 store bought item, now she's unhappy about that?
cyclonichonic writes:
Don’t gift him fruit preserves. Don’t gift him anything at all in fact. He is an ungrateful asshole who still ate what you gave them even though he chewed you out in front of your family.
In fact, I would get my sister something girly that only she would like and hand it to her right in front of him while he gets absolutely nothing. Then he can have something to complain about since by doing this, he asked for it. NTA.
miscarg writes:
As someone who also tried to put together well-thought homemade gifts (preserves, candles, pickles etc.) that can be actually used instead of shoved in a drawer somewhere, and have learned that my BIL considers us cheap because of that, I totally agree with this comment.
This guy is the AH, especially for bashing OP publicly only to go ahead and eat the preserves, so why should he get special treatment? OP is NTA.
wyneflue writes:
It would be great if Kevin had any fruit allergies (or even dislikes) that your sister liked. Gift her Strawberry jam that she'll love but he can't or won't eat. Gift Kevin an ugly tie or a useless tool gadget (you know, from the generic 'I need a gift for a dude I don't really know' gift displays they have set up by the registers this time of year).
ETA: Obviously label it properly and emphasize what's in it. We're trying to be petty, not send anyone into anaphylaxis.
NTA but kinda weird. Was he complaining about the gift or how you gave the gift in front of others? Did he say this to you or your sister? If he said it to you: get him something else or give the gift just to your sister. If he didn't say it to you, give what you normally do just not in front of others.
I meant he complained about it in front of the whole family, straight after I gave them to him. He was complaining about the gift itself.
Oh hell no. Not one more damn jar ever. Omg how could you even consider giving him anything! Do you have an online store? Mu mouth is watering! Lol