When this man is fed up with his wife, he asks Reddit:
There’s this thing called “dry January” where you make a big production not drinking alcohol for the month. It’s supposed to be this big challenge I guess for people who are problem drinkers and need an excuse to not drink.
I don’t get it, I think it’s stupid - if you feel compelled to take a “break” from drinking in the first place maybe you’re just an alcoholic?
My wife is doing this along with a group of our friends. We were on our weekly zoom call and people were talking about it and they asked how we’re feeling about it. I said we? We aren’t feeling anything. She might be, but I’m not.
They all got on my case about how it’s just one month, can’t I go one month, if I can’t go one month what does that say about me? Don’t I want to “reassess” my “relationship” with alcohol?
I said if you have to make a big production and show of not drinking to where you feel you have to make it a whole identity for a month, doesn’t that say more about you? And what “relationship” with alcohol? If I want a beer, I drink a beer. If I don't want a beer, I don't drink a beer. It’s not some big issue.
They’re all trying to pressure me into this and I basically told them to f***off with their peer pressure bullshit. That I’m 36 year old man and I don’t need to go “dry” for a month to prove a point to someone, myself included. My wife was saying that I'm being condescending, and to shut the f*@* up for a minute.
She's telling me I'm acting like a superior AH about it and the way I talk about it makes me sound like I look down on alcoholics...AITA?
Wait. Op sucks Bc he didn’t tag a long on something his wife and friends are doing ? He sucks because he turned the question back on them?
No I disagree , he’s a grown ass man capable of making his own decisions and decided not to join a new fad for the month. He doesn’t wanna do dry January then he doesn’t have to. Just Bc a bunch of ppl so something doesn’t make them right.
See, this is why I’m ruling ESH too. I totally agree that they shouldn’t be pressuring him into joining. But I also think he could have just said, “Not for me, thanks, but best of luck to the rest of you.”
He doesn’t know what these people’s reasons are, or why they want to do this, so firing off that they’re all actually closet alcoholics is needlessly antagonistic and doesn’t give him any kind of moral high ground.
Plus, suppose one of them actually is worried they have a drinking problem and might be counting on having social support? Or they just want to develop healthier drinking habits in general. Why is that a bad thing?
YTA. I do feel his choice of language (making a production about it) suggests he may have more issues with alcohol consumption than he thinks - but maybe he's surrounded by drama queens. *shrug*
If his friends and families are trying a subtle intervention - it's not working. They need to be more direct. But if they're doing it for themselves, they shouldn't need others to do it for them to benefit from it.