Man won't get rid of daughter's pet even though new partner's son is allergic.
When this man is concerned for his daughter, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for not getting rid of daughters pet for partners allergic son?'
My (38m) daughter (12f) has been through alot. I have taken full custody of her with no visitation rights with her mother for reasons that cannot be stated on her as the mods would remove the post.
I am also a couple hours away from her mother so she had to leave a school she loves and all her friends behind. Her best friend also passed away from leukemia. Poor girl has been through alot.
My partner (36m) and I have been together for 2 years and want to move in together. His son (10m) is allergic to cats, my daughter has had this cat for six years and has basically been her emotional support animal.
They have been inseparable this whole time. She would be absolutely devastated to get rid of the cat and I worry about the effects it would have on her mental health since she has already lost so much at such a young age.
My partner wants me to get rid of the cat because of his son. His son is only here every other weekend (lives with his mother the rest of the time).
I am prepared to build an in-law apartment unit above our garage at my expense that my partner and son can stay in during his time here. While it is being built I am prepared to get an apartment for them to stay at at my expense.
My partner is offended by this idea because he feels like his son is being excluded from the main house and won't understand why, that he'll feel unwanted. I've explained the situation over and over about my daughter but we are at an impasse. AITA?
Let's find out.
jacano95 writes:
How about not having your partner move in then? They aren't being very sympathetic to your daughter, and it just seems like moving in together is a bad idea. At least while the cat is alive.
NTA, you offered a very fair compromise that would keep everyone healthy. Maybe not perfectly happy, but healthy. Be cautious around this person though. Your daughter is in a vulnerable place, and this person has proven they don't care about that.
bagelmom writes:
Honestly I am not surprised. People easily discard their own pets, which they would be presumably bonded to. For an outsider to easily discard a pet they aren’t bonded to is not surprising at all.
I have had 5 cats in my life. The first one was dumped in the street and left to fend for himself. He was around 7 months old. After he passed I got two. A one year old black cat that had been gotten from a neighbor and taken to the shelter as they now had too many cats.
The second was a 15 year old that was taken back to the shelter after 14 years because they were moving and couldn’t take her.
After 5 years she passed away (she was 20 by that point) and I adopted an 11 year old who was surrendered because her owner passed away and the family members didn’t want her.
Unfortunately 4 months after I got her she was diagnosed with cancer and she passed 5 months after that. So now I have a 7 year old that was brought back to the shelter after 7 years because they were moving. Pets are so easily discarded, and I don’t even understand how.
ancientlook43 writes:
Tbh if they move in I see that happening anyway because OPs partner is prioritizing only his son, not the girl whose dad literally owns the house and she’s emotionally fragile. Not saying either should be prioritized long term but rn she should be. This is a ton of changes so close together.
Imagine being removed from your mom (even if the home situation was bad it’s traumatic), moving away from your whole life, then getting a new step brother & second dad foisted on you while enduring shitty comments about your beloved animal?
The only genuinely consistent thing in her life is the cat. Wouldn’t go over well with most adults, let alone a child.