"AITA for refusing to cut my daughters’ hair?"
My SIL is getting married at the end of the month, my in laws are paying for the wedding and as a result my MIL thinks she has the right to dictate everything. She tried to pull this when my husband, Seb, and I got married, but we refused her money as we wanted to do what we wanted.
All three of my daughters are part of the wedding, MIL didn’t want my eldest two to be apart of the wedding as they aren’t Seb’s children but SIL wanted them to be apart of the wedding. The girls are 12, 9 and 6.
All three girls have very long hair. 12F’s hair reaches her knees as she rarely gets hair cuts while 9F and 6F have waist length hair. MIL hates the fact they have long hair, she hates long hair and wants to get their hair cut.
As she is paying for everything including bridesmaid hair, she wants the girls to have their hair cut to shoulder length – which she still thinks is too long but thinks it is a compromise. Both Seb and I have refused to consent to letting her cut their hair as its not something they want, they like having long hair.
MIL is threatening to kick them out of the wedding party if we don’t consent to the girls having their hair cut. I think this is abusive. SIL is telling other family members that we are trying to ruin her wedding by refusing.
Seb has told MIL and SIL to drop the subject as we won’t be consenting to them getting their hair cut and if they continue we will attend as guests.
This morning 12F told us that MIL had sent her a message about her hair for the wedding. In the message MIL was trying to convince her to agree to getting her hair cut, otherwise she wouldn’t be in the wedding party any more.
It was a very aggressively written message, blaming me for this issue and calling me controlling. MIL told her that if she wanted to be apart of the wedding then she needs to learn to do as she is told. Seb has now told SIL and MIL that because of this message we will no longer be attending the wedding.
SIL has taken to social media and is complaining that we are trying to ruin her wedding over a little hair trim. We are going LC with SIL and MIL to protect the children as I really do feel this was a step too far for me. AITA for refusing to cut their hair?
Let's find out.
nopeninjanoping writes:
NTA and she needs to be blocked on your kids devices until she can show she's improved her poor impulse control. No one gets to make those decisions but you and your kids. Jeeze is she jealous?
organicstart420 writes:
Nta and threaten them sil+mil with assault complaints if they keep this up. The girls are yours and you and your husband with the children decide the length of hair no one else. Also if you want tell the whole story on social media on how they are trying to abuse your children to fit their wanted image.
elevatorok1802 writes:
NTA. They like their hair long, and it's their hair. If MIL and SIL can't deal with it, that's their problem not yours. Tell your kids that their feelings and choices about their own body matter more than the opinion of others and that it is MIL, not you, preventing them from being in the wedding.