Husband scolds wife for not cleaning the house, she says, 'I can't I have PPD.'
When this husband is annoyed with his wife, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for getting mad at my wife because she didn’t clean the house?'
This situation happened last friday but I’m still so upset about it. Also I’m on my phone so the formatting may be a bit weird. I 28M and my wife 27F have been married for 3 years now.
She has always been a bit messy but I’m not the cleanest person in the world so it hasn’t bothered me at all. We had recently welcomed our son 5 months ago and he is pretty easy to handle. He does all the normal baby stuff but is easier to calm down so that’s a plus.
However my wife has been suffering from PPD and has become very messy.
When I was on paternity leave, I could help her more since she didn’t want to go to therapy and the housework and baby work has lead to me shouldering a bit more responsibility but I love my wife and kids so I don’t mind.
The issue is that since I was on leave I missed my turn to host our monthly get together.
My department does this thing where every month one of us hosts the rest as a bonding experience.
It is done at our respective houses where the host entertains the people, introduce their family and whatnot. I was supposed to host it and I was thinking that I would reserve a spot at a restaurant instead.
I told my wife my plan and she insisted that I host it here. (She has been to these get together and loved them).
I asked her if she would be ok and she said she could handle it. After I placed the preorders for food and other necessities, I sat my wife down and asked her if she could manage to keep the house clean for that day.
If not I would hire housekeeping to do it. She said that I shouldn’t waste unnecessary money and that she would keep it clean. I told her that I would leave early that day to get everything ready.
Come to the day of the event and I leave work early and my house is a mess. Food stains on the wall, baby food in the floor and my son is crying bc of a dirty diaper.
I was so angry. I changed his diaper and found my wife upstairs lying in her bed. I asked what was going on and she said that she couldn’t get out of bed.
The mess was too big to clean so I tried to get a rsvp at a restaurant but none of them had space for such a big gathering. I had to end up canceling the event. My coworkers were really understanding but it was still humiliating.
I told her how upset I was because I asked her to do something that she agreed on but she blamed the baby and started to cry. I didn’t bother comforting her and have been sleeping on the couch since then.
I might be wrong because I’m angry at a woman that had PPD but she told me she was able to handle it. I feel stupid for believing that. AITA?
Let's find out.
saltdove writes:
I don't know why people are struggling to see this point. They can clearly empathise with the mother/wife and see how she got overwhelmed, but can't see OP succumbed to the now months of frustration by this particular incident.
He's clearly not a neglectful husband based on the information, the question he asked was whether he was the asshole for being frustrated about his wifes inability to do something she insisted on. In that regard, he is NTA.
doinggood76 writes:
Yeah - NTA but honestly you may have to give some tough love. If she isn't able to take care of herself she can't take care of the baby, then you may have to say you get help or we are leaving. Unless you want to just see her wither away and ruin both of you.
nahcrazycat88 writes:
NAH… Sort of. Listen, your wife needs help and understanding. When you asked her, she thought she could handle it. The problem is that one moment you can, the next you can’t, prognosticating is impossible.
So give her a break. And give yourself a break too. Your coworkers understand, it’s not a humiliation. Shit happens. Suggestion: get that housekeeper thing going. Even once a week or every other week would take pressure off both of you.