Man not allowed at mom's wedding, wife says, 'not after what her fiancé said about me.'
"AITA for still wanting to go to my mom's wedding after what the groom said about my wife?"
My mom is getting married soon and I'm happy for her despite not particularly liking the guy. She was pretty much a single mom because my dad didn't give a sh** about me. She did everything and gave me the best childhood.
We aren't super close right now, because there is some tension between her and my wife (no one is really being mean, they just don't gel) but I still want to go to her wedding and show support.
She's really happy for the first time I can remember. Anyway the issue is about a year and a half ago my wife overheard the guy my mom is marrying call her (my wife) ugly. My mom was asking how to crop a picture on her phone.
He didnt know my wife was around and asked if she wanted him to crop her 'ugly bull face out' My wife was beyond devastated. She came to me in tears and I confronted him. I honestly lost my sh** and screamed at him.
He did apologize and kept saying he didn't know she was around as if that was supposed to make it better. My wife has never forgiven him and feels embarrassed to be around him, so as a result we don't do holidays or anything with my mom.
My mom visits occasionally without him, but is pretty busy so we don't see her much. She has implied this is ridiculous and my wife needs to get over it. When my mom invited us to the wedding, I knew my wife wouldn't want to go and supported that, but then she dropped the bombshell that she doesn't want me to go.
She said it will feel like a betrayal and I should stand by her to show my mom that she is wrong for marrying such an asshole, and that my wife is my priority.
I tried to gently explain that I can't. I don't necessarily agree but I feel my mom deserves to finally be happy and I want to be there for her. i said I still plan on attending, and my wife was furious. As of right no I think I'm going but I don't know what I should do. AITA?
Let's find out.
orangecubit writes:
YTA - this dude said that about your wife so casually that it’s pretty obvious that he and your mom bad mouth her a lot behind your back. And your mom doesn’t care, and the guy doesn’t care.
Neither of them have made much of an effort to repair the relationship and earn their way back into your life. So why are you ok with it? Why are you showing up for these people who are so causally cruel? Why haven’t you held your mom accountable for any of it?
nonameslefthere89 writes:
YTA for allowing someone that rude and hateful to stay in your life. You should have fully distanced yourself from him. If he's willing to say that where he can be overheard, what is he saying about you and your wife when you aren't around.
That your mom says your wife just needs to get over it shows how little she actually cares about what he did.
beenaprettymess writes:
NTA I’m going to be the LONE RANGER here. It’s fed up your wife got called ugly and yes her feelings are hurt. But you have limited contact with the fiancé and even your mom for your wife’s sake AND you confronted dude for your wife’s honor.
You have done everything you should do. You love your mama and shouldn’t have to sacrifice that love forever bc of one moment in time. Don’t let these folks convince you the relationship with your mom doesn’t matter.
Your wife DOES NOT have to get over it and she NEVER has to speak to dude again but it’s ok to still love your mama and have a relationship. After all SHE didn’t call wife ugly somebody else did.